[Daeva]

Around and around I went, 1, 2, 3....48 times.
So dizzy, light-headed, lost and confused.
I held on.
Til 48.
Then I fell off the wagon and cut myself all up again.

But seriously though, 48 days sober and now I am back again I don't know if I want to stop sigh so disappointed.

[utterlyconfused]

Keep hanging on.. you can beat this!

[ThisWayOut]

48 days is still a lot. And it's just a bump, not a failure.
So what's going on that you slipped up?

[jacq10]

48 days is a HUGE success! BUT, just because you had a set-back does NOT mean you are a failure! I understand that once you've re-experienced the relief brought on my SI it's hard to try and give that up again, but try and think back to how proud you were feeling of yourself beforehand, and try and hold on to that.

It's ok for a short time to feel bad or yucky or (inset word) about yourself because you have "fell off the wagon," but try not to get caught up in those feelings. Acknowledge that they are there, and that this happened, but try to not let them consume you. YOU are bigger and stronger than those feelings.

Hang in there, and feel free to share your thoughts with us here, and hopefully we can help you out of this!

Gentle hugs,
Jacq

[Idiot17]

Now you can start again, ignoring the bump in the road and beat the 48.
Hugs and good luck.

[Daeva]

Thanks for the encouragment guys I feel a bit better, still beating myself up over it. I also feel guilty because the house is sending me on a trip to reward my good behavior and I'm keeping this from them. I really want to go to the bronx zoo, but I feel guilty keeping this from them, so I'm torn between telling and possibly losing that, or not telling at all. I told my Therapist so I don't know why I feel the need to tell the house (My t won't tell the house anything). UGH.

My conscience sighs.