I want to really cut myself bad and a lot. The last few cuts I did recently were not big enough or deep enough. They didn't bleed enough or hurt enough. They are healing too quickly. I can never seem to be able to inflict the damage I want and need. I need to see a gash. I need there to be lots of blood.

[Victoria'smom]

Be carful please.

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry you feel you have to cut yourself, especially, the need to hurt yourself so bad. I used to self harm, so I understand the need for relief. I hope you are able to deal with the emotions in a different way. Please be careful.

[Idiot17]

(((((secret)))))
stay safe.

Well I did manage to cause a bit more damage but it still doesn't feel like enough. Will it ever be enough? The fact it bled through the dressing and clothing on my way to work this morning suggests that it should be enough. But I just can't feel it, it needs to be more somehow.

[Idiot17]

hope the pain and need eases shortly. stay safe while you ride it out.
((((((secret))))))

I just can't get it right. I can't push down enough on the blade. I think I am pushing down enough but I am left with the same disappointing results. I guess the next step would be sharper blades. I just don't know where I can go for them... I'm in pain, there just isn't enough blood.

[Idiot17]

(((((secret))))). Stay safe.

[Angelornot]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

I just can't get it right. I can't push down enough on the blade. I think I am pushing down enough but I am left with the same disappointing results. I guess the next step would be sharper blades. I just don't know where I can go for them... I'm in pain, there just isn't enough blood.

please don't do that. please be careful. This may be triggering by the way, but I was there once. I felt that way. I bought brand new sharp razors. pushed down hard. cut to the bone. through four tendons. 7 stitches. the doctors said it was amazing I could move my hand, that I didn't cause permanent damage. I had to wear a splint for a two weeks.
it was terrifying. as soon as I saw what I had done, I was scared to death. I didn't know how I could do that to myself. I thought I might die. That was what I had wanted, but as soon as what I always daydreamt about happened it was horrible. you think that's what you want or need, and I know the feeling. but the reality is a nightmare.

[BrokenGlass]

You are in my prayers, please stay safe. Wishing soon relief for you

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[Fuzzybear]