[person422]

I've been depressed for some time now. I have just not cut myself yet. Could someone tell me why people cut themselves? I have just not understood why.

[pegasus]

Hello person422, welcome to Psych Central.

For some people it is a way of coping. The act of cutting can be a release, the trouble is that it is not a very good way of coping as after the cutting there then comes feelings of self-loathing and guilt and it can end up being a vicious circle.

[person422]

Yeah. That kind of makes sense. It's just when i try to cut myself i get into extreme pain and it just makes my depression worse.

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[person422]

Well i have admittedly done something similar to cutting. It was painful. And, it made me feel worse. That's why I'm confused cutting would be good. If an actual cutter would respond to me that would be great

[celtic.starlite]

Hi person422,

I am a cutter. Please do not start it, it is a horrible addiction/habit/coping mechanism. Why do I cut? There are two main reasons I may cut: 1. I feel I need to be punished for something I did or said, or maybe I was triggered and whatever the memory was left me feeling I need to be punished. 2. I never learned how to express my feelings, I was not allowed to have feelings growing up, that may not make sense if you don't have a past like mine, but when I am overwhelmed with feelings it is too much for me and some how the cutting releases all the tension.
I have cut for multiple other reasons but those are the main reasons for me.

I think it was great you started this thread and I hope more people answer. Also, if you feel you can handle it, read through some of the posts here and you might learn more, just a suggestion.

Be safe,

Celtic

[jacq10]

I cut because it releases endorphins and those make me feel better.. though only for a second. Afterwards I end up feeling worse about myself, yet I keep going back. Sometimes I also feel like it justifies why I feel the way I do... depression is interesting in that you can't tell how deeply someone is hurting by just looking at them. Cutting externalizes my pain and justifies it somehow.

That being said, please DO NOT start cutting. I have needed to cut deeper and deeper each time in order to get the same rush. My scars are permanent, and have made for some awkward conversations.

[person422]

Originally Posted by jacq10

I cut because it releases endorphins and those make me feel better.. though only for a second. Afterwards I end up feeling worse about myself, yet I keep going back. Sometimes I also feel like it justifies why I feel the way I do... depression is interesting in that you can't tell how deeply someone is hurting by just looking at them. Cutting externalizes my pain and justifies it somehow.

That being said, please DO NOT start cutting. I have needed to cut deeper and deeper each time in order to get the same rush. My scars are permanent, and have made for some awkward conversations.

Yeah. Well i think you should know that cutting doesn't make you a freak or anything. Many people cut. The reason people get addicted to drugs, alcohol, cutting, and other things is because they are ashamed of their habit.

[RunningInTheRain]

I have cut as well.

I've never gotten as much of an endorphin rush from it as some people have (maybe because I've never cut very badly/deeply), and instead it tends to serve as more of a distraction - I become so focused on the external pain that the internal pain isn't as bad. I think it's also a way of expressing how I feel on the inside by putting it on the outside, to sort of "justify" it, as jacq10 said. And then other times, I've done it simply because I've become addicted - and at some point you just "need" it.

Please don't try it, not even once. Starting cutting has been one of the biggest mistakes of my life so far (it could even be #1), and I seriously regret ever trying it. Even if just do it ONCE and SWEAR you'll never come back to it again, chances are, you will - and once you're addicted (which will happen), it's likely to stay with you for many years, possibly even the rest of your life. Spare yourself the misery and just don't even go there, no matter how bad things get. I swear to you it's not worth it.

[SparkyCat]

I'll add to the chorus of don't start.

For me it's a mixture of a few things. Mostly, it's a release. It's the only time I ever get when the chaos in my head to shut up because I'm so focused on the pain.

There's also an element of feeling like I deserve it for hurting others, for not coping better in the past, for letting myself get this bad.

Finally, up until I finally got proper help, it was a cry for help. A way of shouting at the world that I was not and am not okay.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

There are a few reasons why people do it. I don't want to sit here and type out reasons that you may translate as reasons for you to do it. For me, it started with curiosity... just so happens that I wasn't all that stable at the time, and it ended up turning into something darker. (4 years clean, now) If you're considering it, ... don't.

It's a release you can pretty much get from doing other things. Endorphins and adrenaline; that's sometimes all there is to it, at least physically. Not worth it, trust me on that much, please. |: I'd rather eat a chocolate bar, workout, or cry, than ever go back to that dark time. :\ And I hate crying! xD

I don't mean to demean how horrible it is, or anything like that; I'm not really the person to do that, it's just that I know... I struggle to explain this, and I know I wouldn't even listen if I went back in time. I was so stubborn, typically. I call it "fog" (as do some others, I believe) It stops you seeing things for what they are... makes you interested in one thing... so much like an actual drug, it's scary. Being on the other end (girlfriend who was very unstable) was a huge eye-opener for me, as well. It's not just about what one does to oneself, but the effect it has on others.

[bmoe73]

It seems everyone in here is in agreement. Pls dont start cutting yourself. Immediately look for other healthy ways of dealing with your pain such as meditation, mindfulness, body scan, opposite action, etc. Again...dont rationalize why you should cut. Dont focus on that idea. Try to remain mindful and focus on the here and now. Huggs.

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[bmoe73]

I saw one poster talk about chocolate. Sense of smell could be another thing. What type of things smell really good to you rather its food or otherwise

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I'm 45 and have been self harming since before I started school in various ways, cutting included. I honestly don't know why I do it. Bad habit I guess? Cry for help? Punishment? Screaming? Many reasons. I don't know. I don't think I'll ever stop.

[Espresso]

I do it because it's calming.

[DLR7885]

Originally Posted by person422

I've been depressed for some time now. I have just not cut myself yet. Could someone tell me why people cut themselves? I have just not understood why.

I had been a steady self-cutter for the last couple of years until my relatively new therapist got so scared about my increasing and more severe cutting along with increasing suicidality that he laid down the law, saying the cutting (and self-hitting) had to stop for the therapy to continue and to be of any benefit to me.

I listened to him. It was and is incredibly hard. After being cutting-free for a few weeks, I was all set to return to it tonight. But I stopped short, put the knife down and didn't cut. Even though I had similar emotional turmoil as to what led me to do it before, I didn't have it in me to release all of that by cutting anymore.

So what I thought were the myriad benefits (all mentioned previously) had been actually contributing to me being stopped up and not being able to express fully in therapy.

In the end, there are no benefits, just a continuing delay in becoming truly emotionally healed. It definitely serves as emotion regulation for those (like me) who do not know how to do that in a healthy way. But stopping the cutting is a big step toward developing true emotional regulation.

The best way to achieve this milestone is to not start cutting in the first place.

[Idiot17]

As you see people cut and start cutting for various reasons.
For me It's the only way I know how to release feelings and thoughts and it makes me feel better. Then you start doing it and it becomes routine, a norm, just like brushing your teeth is....
As everyone else said it's best not to start the messy habit, it just complicates things.

[person422]

I don't think i would cut. There are other ways to release endorphins, like exercising.

It can be a self punishment.
It can be a self hatred.
It can be for the endorphins
It can be for the feeling of having some control in your life

For me - I honestly believe that if I did not cut - I would do something much worse..... permanent. Fatal.

When I would burn myself/ hair pulling and other forms of SI it was for the pain. A distraction from the pain inside but cutting has a somewhat different connotation for me.

Yeah, a big part of it was about the pain but another part was a kind of symbolic release, like as I was watching the blood flow I was watching all the troubles leave my life for a little while.

[avlady]

I don't cut but am happy someone posted this as i usually don't read the posts on cutting because i didn't understand it and why people do it. I hope the people that cut here are cured of their illness, and will pray for them.

[hiddenfriend]

I am a cutter also and I am not ashamed. I do it for other reasons though. I don't cut when I'm depressed, I cut more so to get a high. I know it's messed up but I get off on the pain. I do it to try to keep myself out of trouble. I could be doing something worse like going broke or cheating on my wife. Or ending it all. So my words to you are this, there is not a person on here besides a cutter that can tell you not to cut. We have dealt with the addiction everyday and know the physical and emotional pains that come with it. Not only to us but to the ones that love us. But I can't tell you not to cut and I won't . But I will tell you it is not something I would have started if I would have known that it gets this bad. And if you do ever cut please keep it clean and stay safe. God bless.

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[ifst5]

I do it mostly when i'm angry or frustrated and need something akin to comfort - i especially like the 'warming' sensation afterwards. I sleep well after self harming. But be advised, self harming IS addictive, expensive and of course, further damaging. For me it is becoming less and less effective and all i have to show for it is a badly mutilated body and an even worse mental state. I would encourage mindfulness of the other options out there but of course i would never tell you 'not' to cut - i'm not in a position too. All i can hope is that you make better choices. All the best.

[herethennow]

Like most of the other posters, we do get some sort of a release. It's a way to change the inner pain that you really can't do anything about and change it into a controllable pain: physical pain. This helps control some of us from doing worse things i.e. for me would be suicide. Self punishment too.

But most of all... when the scar is on its way to healing, I get this sense of satisfaction every time I take care of my scar. I would think that with this, I am taking care of myself.. a way that I am not able to take care of myself emotionally.

However, with that said, like what others have posted... please please do not start it. It's a horrible addiction that leaves permanent marks.

[hep69]

Originally Posted by person422

I've been depressed for some time now. I have just not cut myself yet. Could someone tell me why people cut themselves? I have just not understood why.

I've always personally been partial to burning myself actually, I only cut when there's nothing available to burn myself with. I do it because I'm worthless, stupid, disgusting and unloveable so when I burn or cut myself it's just what I deserve.

[bronzeowl]

Originally Posted by person422

I don't think i would cut. There are other ways to release endorphins, like exercising.

There are.

Unfortunately, for those of us who do cut, we often even abuse exercise. Too much of even that is a bad thing.

(I both cut and over exercise)

It's an addiction to the endorphins in my case. I either cut or exercise for several hours every day. It's lose/lose for me. As one leaves me feeling constantly drained, and the other leaves scars.

I'm glad to hear you would never cut. It's something I've lived with since middle school. I wish I had never started.

ETA: To explain it in more depth, the endorphins - for me, at least - provide a temporary distraction from depression. I would imagine that the endorphin rush feels good to me long enough to make me forget (for at least a moment) how down I was seconds before. Of course, the crash comes later. After both exercising, and cutting. The crash is when the endorphin rush is gone, and I'm either sitting on my bed staring at what I've done.. or collapsing to the floor because I pushed myself too hard. And when the crash hits, I find that I often want to go again for that endorphin rush.