frustrated...(possible trigger...not to bad though)

my boyfriend wants to admit me to the hospital...since we have met have relapsed into cutting for like the 7th or 8th time (each time lasting for awhile). I knew he would get sick of it...but he just doesnt understand...he has tried to bribe me to stop...he has tried to threaten me...he says,"Just stop doing it, go cold turkey." He has been so faithful and supportive to me...but he just doesnt realize i cant go cold turkey...he thinks if he holds me for an hour that it will be ok and not come back the next day. I love him but im just so frustrated and now im facing possible admission to a psych ward. I dont think i could handle it...i dont think i would get better that way...i cant be away from him...he is my life support and now he wants me to go an hour away from him and not see him all the time and he thinks ill be good and ill get better...if anything id die...i told him my strength is alot better because i have this one urge to cover every inch of my body face and all with cuts i want every inch of my body to bleed but i only do it in "special" areas, i wont tell u guys just in case i give anybody easier ways to do it. But after 6 years of cutting i think thats pretty good and thats accomplishing something...im afraid that if i dont do it every day 3 times a day..then i will go mad and give in to the one most powerful urge ive been fighting all these years...he doesnt see it this way...what do you guys think?

That is an awful lot of cutting. What are you doing to try to reduce it? You may not be able to just go cold turkey (I couldn't, and my T didn't expect me to at the beginning and said so), but you can take steps towards doing it less and learning other ways to stop. Do you have a therapist?

Rap

As Rapunzel asked, Do you have a T? Quitting is very scary. It is important to have a support system. Do you have people you can/ are willing to call when you are having really bad cravings? Are you making efforts to cut less or reduce how often you do it? If you want to quit slowly you need to make efforts to do so. SI is a coping mechanism, and it is impossible to quit without having other coping methods to replace it with. Also a T can help you work on underlying reasons you SI which can reduce your desire for it.

I'm sorry that you feel like your boyfriend isn't understanding. He is probably really scared he's going to lose you and is just trying to do what he thinks is best. Sometimes others ignorance can be very damaging. However, there are a lot of great sites for family and friends of those who SI. Below I have listed some. I really think you should have him read these, maybe even go over them with him. Ask him if he has any questions after reading the sites.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm#helping
http://www.palace.net/~llama/psych/ffriend.html

Also, on the first site, right beneath the helping portion there are ways you can help yourself. Maybe switch to limiting yourself to 2x a day and then substitute one of the coping methods listed to replace the other time.

I hope this helps some.

Try to take care

((((((((((hugs))))))))))))

thank you so much...no i dont have a therapist... your right ickydog it is very scary to quit. its been my whole life so when someone tells me of getting better...i almost at times dont want it...because its like you breathe your whole life and someone comes along and says stop breathing. (bad analogy but thats all i can think of.) its scary and i wonder how ill survive...i know i will but my mind and body have accepted it. This is pretty rough. Thank you for those sites, i will definitly show them to him and see what he says.
Rap- ive tried to quit, i guess those are my ways of trying to reduce it. Though not much else. Ive tried writing in a journal...but it gets to be too much. And my body remembers the way it feels during it...and it craves the cutting and the knife...In fact after my boyfriend tried to stop me i went from a little miniture razor to a really big box cutter (thanks to my job for letting me take it home) but anyway...thank you guys again for your support. (((((hugs if there ok)))))))))))))))))

Hi I hope u feel better (big hug from the bronx)all what u said I could identify with, been, there done that
u can PM me if u want hope to hear from you.
Crista Ortiz