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#1
Jan 23, 2007, 01:39 AM
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TRIGGERING...VERY TRIGGERING
You need me. You need to cut. I'm the only thing that always made you feel better. Only temporarily, but I made you feel better. Don't you want to feel better? You know you can. It'll just be once more. I'm your only friend. I'm the only one who's been with you through everything. I'm the only one here for you. I can comfort you. Just let me comfort you. Why won't you let me help you? Just give me a chance, just one chance, then you can choose to never use me again. I just want the tapes to stop. I want to feel better. Cutting always made me feel better eventually... yeah, it took more and more...but at least it always worked. I miss it. I miss it so much. I just want to feel it, to see it, to see the blood slowly seep from my skin, to see it drip down....... How do I make the tapes stop? They won't quit and the only way I know how to make them stop is to listen and obey. It seems like it hasn't consumed me like this in quite some time. Will the desire ever go away... I mean really go away?
__________________
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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#2
Jan 23, 2007, 11:32 AM
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That it's worked so well in the past is what helps it seem like a good idea the next time you're overwhelmed. I think it will always seem like an option, but you can change your reaction to it. It takes a lot of work, though. I thought I was through it and turned out to be really drastically wrong.
((((((((hugs))))))))) I know it's hard. Hang in there and keep talking. Love, Candy |
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#3
Jan 24, 2007, 01:35 AM
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i hope the desire will one day go away...otherwise alot of us are doomed huh...My heart is with you...good luck...keep fighting the urge....((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
__________________
"You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
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#4
Jan 28, 2007, 04:07 AM
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I don't know about everyone, but I do know some former self-injurers who tell me that they don't ever have that desire anymore. As for myself, I don't have it most of the time. It comes back still if I get really upset about something. The last time was about three months ago.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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#5
Jan 28, 2007, 08:17 PM
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Thanks guys. It seems like I feel better for awhile and then take a dive. My T and doc want me back on meds (been off for a year) and I'll probably start that again soon... hoping that will ease this along with the anxiety. I am doing a little better now though. Thanks all for listening and replying.
__________________
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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