"Stop playing the victim!!!!"

Oh yes and stop blaming everyone else for your problems (even that uncle who molested you at age 5 - that was YOUR fault he did that!). You made your bed, now lay in it. Accept some personal responsability and acknowledge that YOU are the problem, you asked to be born and everything in life is YOUR fault. If you get mugged on the streets, that was YOUR fault too because you should'nt have gone to the grocery. You are just a bad person and you are the only cause of your problems. Stop acting like a victim and learn to smile and hold your chin up!!!!!!

Anyone else ever have to listen to this TOTAL line of BS?. It always seems to come from some uncompassionate, non-understanding a-hole who has no clue about your life (or problems) and at a time when you need HELP - not victimized twice!.

Ahhhhh!!!!!

Let me repeat that...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

((((((((((((((gg))))))))))))))))))) oh YES! Have I heard that one before. And that's why I hardly ever talk about the stuff that happened. Can I join you?
aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Grey,

Here, Here. a much needed counter point that needs more voice in a society that is so systemically bent on avoiding community responsibility that even victims are taught to scapegoat and blame other victims while holding larger forces to zero accountability.

~Down

*hugs*

((((((((((((((((((((((((( greygoose )))))))))))))))))))))))))

i don't understand things either. i wish you well.

kd

I was severely abused by my father and he denies it. While I appreciate your point of view, I have to dissagree based on my own personal experience and continued victimization by him. I am not "most people", I am an individual and one who was severely abused by un unrepentant father who continues to be in denial. Please fogive me if I've misread your reply (ie; your counter point).

NOTE: I hope my above post did'nt sound too defensive. I've been told that I am too defensive sometimes and I really don't mean to be. Thank you for all the kind, compassionate and understanding replies :-)

- Warm regards

GreyGoose,

What strong emotions you have expressed in your first post. I hope it was helpful in releasing something needed for you.

In my experience it was healing to finally say aloud/type and post words that had never been spoken before. Words that needed saying. It was scary for me to do but afterwards I almost always felt better for having gotten them out.

This is some hard work dealing with any aspect of abuse. I am sorry that you went through what you did.

I wish you continued strength for this healing work. I know you will continue to find your words.

My God GG, are you in my head? We could be brothers or something. My father abused me as well and sees what happened through completely different eyes. The story he tells may as well have been something out of a Dr. Suess story book. It blows chunks that you had to suffer in this manner, and that the abuser in your case is so weak of heart and soul as to not be able to admit fault and BEG for forgiveness. Again, I'm sorry that you had to suffer so. Please take care my friend.

Ry

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Oh yes and stop blaming everyone else for your problems (even that uncle who molested you at age 5 - that was YOUR fault he did that!). You made your bed, now lay in it. Accept some personal responsability and acknowledge that YOU are the problem, you asked to be born and everything in life is YOUR fault. If you get mugged on the streets, that was YOUR fault too because you should'nt have gone to the grocery. You are just a bad person and you are the only cause of your problems. Stop acting like a victim and learn to smile and hold your chin up!!!!!!

Anyone else ever have to listen to this TOTAL line of BS?. It always seems to come from some uncompassionate, non-understanding a-hole who has no clue about your life (or problems) and at a time when you need HELP - not victimized twice!.

Ahhhhh!!!!!

Let me repeat that...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I have had that line of b/s fed to me more times than I care to count. WAY more times than I have needed. It has become a poison that tries to infect and infest my own thinking but I won't LET it. How's THAT for the old infamous "LET" line -- you know -- don't LET it get to you. It's your fault for LETTING it hurt you. It's your fault you LET them bother you. Etc. F&#$* all that noise.

Can we just line up all people who talk like that and summarily flush them down the sewer already? They are NOT part of the solution but part of the PROBLEM.

*grumbling with you*

~Mal

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>

Here, Here. a much needed counter point that needs more voice in a society that is so systemically bent on avoiding community responsibility that even victims are taught to scapegoat and blame other victims while holding larger forces to zero accountability.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Down, that is one of the best summations of this whole situation I've heard yet. Kudos!!

~Mal

Down - I must have misread your post in the beginning. I thought you were saying that people should'nt play the "victim" but I believe now that you were actually saying "don't be a victim" (in other words, don't allow the person who victimized you to get to you but forgive them and move on). ((((((((((Down))))))))))

Ahhhh...it's been a rough month (understatement - think Murphy's law)

God does that ever sound familar.

With my family, it is mental abuse, some physical as kids. The story I always heard was that I was such a hard child , too strong minded. Well then, what were my brother and sister? It happened to them, too! I have been pushed to the place a few times where I get really angry, especially at my Dad. Sometimes we need to let the valve loose and spill it out. We are all here together. Grey Goose, I hope you feel better today! I have been there, too! When I came here, I really needed all of you guys, and now I am leveling out, and still here reading posts and talking. This is good therapy for all of us. GG hope today is a good day for you. Carol

((((((((((((((GG))))))))))))))

It is so sad that I totally understand and identify with all that you have written. I am sorry for the abuse you endured. I am sorry for the abuse I endured.