[gwenlian]

I have two kinds of SI -- one when I'm very emotional and angry with myself and another when I'm very calm, no real trigger other than I want to cut. I've learned to stop the former pretty well by reaching out to my husband, but the latter has happened a lot over the past month and it scares me because I just decide I want to cut or injure myself with no real emotion behind it other than a sense of satisfaction when I've done it. I just got out of the hospital today and had a therapy appt tonight. My therapist wants me to keep a picture of my husband and kids on my phone to look at when I want to cut but I don't feel like that's going to be enough of a deterrent. I'm so focused that it's hard to stop myself. I've read over the sticky about ways to stop SI but nothing is really leaping out at me except maybe drawing on my arm or leg with a fine point sharpie or something like that but that only seems to delay the inevitable because then I want to see it in blood. Has anyone ever felt like this? It scares me and I really want it to stop.

[Travelinglady]

Hmmm. Could you try the family picture to see if it might work?

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you are struggling so much right now.
I can relate to the market just delaying the inevitable. Sometimes it has helped, other times it just triggered the need to see blood. I've found when that happens, I can sometimes trick my head into thinking I have hurt myself with some "special effects". I've gotten some of the clear corn syrup and added a bunch of red food coloring. I put it into a Ziploc bag, and I squish at it... one time I squished too hard by accident and it burst. Then I had a scene from Dexter going on, but it helped with the need to see blood... I would suggest letting your h know if you choose to use it, as it can be scary to see if you don't know what it is.
Hope today is better for you.

[gwenlian]

I'm definitely doing to picture on my phone. I was able to stop myself from cutting today because it was in an obvious place and I knew my husband would be really angry with me and I wouldn't be able to explain it away to the kids. I thought of a couple of other things to do but I managed to keep away. Thanks for the support.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm so glad that worked. I hope you can keep up the resisting.

[lilypup]

hugs to you for trying different things. I hope you feel better soon.