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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2007
Posts: 1,207
17 |
#1
I just woke up from a bad dream...if you read my previous post im having trouble bleeding..well in my dream i cut the inside of my arm..i never do it there for fear of what people will ask me so it is one of my urges to do it there...anyway back on subject....i took my razor and cut and cut and cut but i couldnt bleed i flipped out and cut more then i cut so deep my arm fell open like a gutted fish...i held it together and walked over to my boyfriend and said..i think i cut alittle to deep this time..he saw it and took ahold of me and i fainted and woke up...its not the first time ive had these kind of dreams...one time it was my wrist...and my hand almost fell off...this sucks...though i must admit its better than the dream where i am being raped...thanks for listening sorry....
__________________ "You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: NM
Posts: 1,455
19 83 hugs
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#2
I'm sorry you are going through this. Please try to be careful. I know you really want the blood, but if you keep cutting deeper for it chances are you're going to cut too deep and not be able to stop the bleeding. Please try to reduce the severity of the cutting. You need to fight this.
I'm loaded with homework so I may not get back to PM's very fast but feel free to PM me anyways. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) __________________ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
20 132 hugs
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#3
I think those dreams sound like your subconscious trying to tell you that you are afraid that you are cutting too much. Are you doing anything to slow it down or to learn other ways to cope?
Rap __________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2007
Posts: 1,207
17 |
#4
thank you guys for responding...
Rap-yes i have tried to cope and slow down my SI...my boyfriend and i have decided everytime i feel the urge i tap him on the face...orginally i was just to tell him however saying it out loud just made me uncomfortable so now its just hand motions..which is good...also getting on here is another way i try and cope...watching tv and other stuff...just sometimes its too much to handle...im sorry please dont hate me for that...i know everyone is trying to listen to me and help me stop and i just want you guys to know how much i do try and how much i do appreciate it..please dont think i dont try...please dont think im a failure or a loser or a hopeless cause...i just dont have a therapist yet...and im trying to fix that..im hoping that when i get one he will help me stop all together...but things are too scary right now...im trying but im just soooo scared to stop...im afraid that if i stop i might go mad...completely insane, not that im not right now..who knows but thank you...if you guys need anything pm me as well __________________ "You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
20 132 hugs
given |
#5
It's good to know that you are trying. When you let your bf know that you have the urge, is he able to help you to ride it out safely? Can you talk to him about why you feel that way right then?
__________________ “We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg |
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