Anxious cos I feel I owe....

I haven't SId for 17days now, as I have just proudly announced on the thread!
But, I'm feeling anxious about it.
It's hard to explain, and doesn't really make sense....I feel that it's overdue now, and if I don't do it soon then the harm will get me some other way. I feel panicky that something will happen to someone, it will be my fault because I didn't SI. I thought I could get away with not doing it.
I know it's mad...does anyone else feel like this? I may try to tell my t, but I think she will think I'm nuts (even more than usual).

can't say I can relate but I'm sorry you're feeling that way, you probably should tell your T about it.

It's not mad. You're going through some type of withdrawal for the reasons why you used to do it. It's causing paranoia. Your T is certainly not there to judge nor is your T there to think you're nuts. Through talking to her about the way you are feeling might help you discover some underlying reasons that you are not fully aware of yet.

This is one of the cognitive distortion:"Catostrophisation+emotional reasoning+fortune telling" "which us happening.
Ask yourself
1) what is the evidence the confines by belief?
2) tell yourseld-"Ut doesn't matter how I feel, my feelings may not be accurate, I need to examine the evidence.
If I can't control certain things its nitvmy fault.
Resist the needvto dobthe act (compulsion) your mind asks you to do.Intially anxiety builds..after sometime it will improve.

buy:"cognitive behaviour therapy for dummies" book

I can fully relate to this. It seems "unnatural" to be free from fresh injuries. We have trained our brains to accept and maybe even enjoy our self harm.

So it is only natural that a lack of it leaves us in an unfamiliar spot (and I know I hate unfamiliar things).

Yes, you're right, it feels... Wrong to not do it...
Messed. Up.

Xxxxx