What's the point.

I want to give up so bad. People tell me I'm not suicidal if I've never tried. They say this as though I care what they label me. What does it matter in the end. A corpse is a corpse. I am so tired but I'm afraid. I keep thinking if I actually did it that my parents would scold me. Even if I was gone I feel afraid of their disapproval . And they have spent so much money to sustain me and I just flush away all of their money. Idk I'm just so tired.

I am sorry you are in such a bad place right now. If there is anything I can do to help you please PM me. Even if you just want to talk. You are very important to your family at home and the one you have here.

Life is a difficult thing, there is nothing wrong with being tired or afraid, but it is possible to get through the rough patches in life. Your parents will always love you no matter what you do gist please don't do anything rash. I have gone through similar things to which you are describing, and I want you to know that us as a community will always be there. if you wish to talk more you can always PM me I'll try to respond as fast as I can. Until next time goodluck.