[Fifth_Sonata]

So I'm feeling a little triggered at the moment and I've decided to post something to see if I can wait until the feeling passes.

I found some suggestions on a website that are rather humorus when explaining scars, and I thought I'd share them with you!

1) I had a fight with a porcupine.
2) My cat beat me up.
3) I fell on a barbed-wire fence when crossing the border.
4) Who are you? Who am I? When did I get here?
5) SSSHHH!! Don't talk. They're listening (run away quickly).
6) My car keys bit me.
7) My friend thought I was her clarinet and scratched me with reeds.
8) Today I began my new job as a can opener.
9) I took up swordfighting.
10) What scars/cuts? I don't see anything (when they point to your arm/leg). That's my arm/leg. What about it? You're seeing things!

[Christina86]

(((((((((((Fifth_Sonata)))))))))))))



Thanks for this list, it's a good one!

[InACorner]

lol thats funny

actually my bfs sister just asked what one cut was and in front of everyone at dinner...lol my bf looked at me like lets see how youll get out of this look ...lol

i told her i had a fight with a box but no worries...i won

hehe its a good thing i work overnight with boxes otherwise id really be in deep dodoo

[Fifth_Sonata]

I found more from www.selfharm.net:

-I had unprotected sex with a porcupine.
-I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.
-The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck.
-The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages.
-This first one is kind of lame, but it's what I use most often: "Um, uh...I, uh....you see....I...uh...Well,...." At which they usually try to help me out by replying, "Did you fall?" And I say, "Yes, thanks."
-Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.
-I hurt myself.
-I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner.
-"I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before."
-"It's a long story." They usually leave me alone, but this one guy said, "I've got time." Then I said, "I fell. [long pause] Ok, so it's obviously not THAT long."
-I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs.
-I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish.
-I slipped while making a salad.
-I fell asleep, and the clown got me.
-I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason.
-I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too.
-Those aren't cuts, they're mehendi.
-Don't worry about it. Because of me, they now have a warning label!
-What are you talking about?? (as I quickly pull my sleeves up.)
-Damn Cat.
-Well, when I was younger, I had this dream that a dog was following me...he ran, and I ran, but the faster I ran, the more he sped up. I wanted to get to safety, to my house...I was almost there...but right when I got to the front porch, he bit me. Everywhere. Lots of times. Making marks that don't look like bites at all. And when I woke up... ::wide eyes:: and I had THESE.
-"What scars?" They usually reply "those ones," to which I reply, "I don't see anything."
-The voices told me to do it.
-I wrestle Tigers...
-I got them climbing a fence to escape this hell-hole. (said at school)
(said to a guy who thinks I worship the devil) I did this as a sacramental offering to my dark lord, you prick. ::Smile::
(about scars on my stomach) "Oh, those are from having my baby." "You don't have a baby!" "No, but I could."
-None of your business, you stupid (insert appropriate curse word here)
-I did it. (Hey, honesty works sometimes)

[Perna]

"Where did you get that?" -- Local five and dime. Cool Internet site. My tattoo parlor is expanding its offerings to "scars."

"What is that from?" -- Sharp object. It's a dermatologic hypertrophic fibroblast.

"How'd you get that?" -- Same way you got yours. I needed it. How is it you ask that?

"Wow!" -- Yeah, I guess it looks pretty kewl to someone who only has freckles. You like that? It didn't hurt as much as you'd think.

[sujunew]

for burns... the iron fell off the board while I was underneath trying to get the clothes that had just fallen off

...i had to put out my cigarette somewhere

...the docs can't figure out if it is contagious or not.

...you know those UFO crop circles everyone talks about? Well apparently aliens liked the look of me and visited lots of times

[Rapunzel]

So, what's the best one for scratches on my face that everyone at work is going to recognize because it looks just like what our clients do to themselves and each other? No, I can't blame it on a client. Not sure how long I can get away with wearing a scarf to hide the scratches, either. That seems to make it even more obvious that I'm hiding something. It also throws into suspicion my continual statements about always being cold.