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#1
Apr 03, 2007, 12:47 PM
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I want this to be over. Please make it go away. I hate blood drives. There are posters up, people talking about it, I can't take this much longer. I want to give blood. I want to see it come out of me. I want to feel release. I want to just so I can take the bandage thing off and watch the blood pour down my arm. I know I can't let myself give blood because it wouldn't be enough. But I can't take this pain. I can feel it. I could feel it all night. The dull ache of my arm. The need for release. The feeling on my wrist. The kind that says you need to cut here, you need to cut here, you need to you need to you need to. I can't take this much longer. It's slowly driving me insane. I want to cry, I want to hurt, I want to see blood, to taste it. I need to go find somebody....
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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#2
Apr 03, 2007, 08:52 PM
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(((((((((ickydog))))))))))))
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#3
Apr 03, 2007, 09:48 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((ickydog)))))))))))))))))))))))
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#4
Apr 03, 2007, 10:34 PM
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I'm glad to see you mention finding someone. I hope you have someone to talk to!
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#5
Apr 04, 2007, 01:11 AM
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I feel so pathetic not being safe alone because of this. I went and hung out in my Theology teachers office for almost an hour. I'm really glad he's okay with me coming and just sitting there. It's nice to have somewhere where I can let my guard down and don't have to worry about hurting myself (I won't do it in a teahers office, I feel it sorta is a betrayal to them and their space). It gave me enough time to cool down and regain enough sanity to resist SI for the rest of the day. Now it is night again though and my roomate is gone.
Why can't I just be normal and be alone and safe? 
__________________
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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