[Ad Intra]

I know I post on here a lot, I'm sorry, but I've been having problems as if late.
I live with my grandmother and brother. For some reason I'm so angry towards my grandmother and every time I open my mouth I snap at her. I let my anger be known but when I do she becomes defensive and snaps back.
She just told me that me snapping at her hurt her. The only thing I know to do is to bottle my emotions then cut afterwards to get out all of my anxiety and anger. I also want to punish myself for hurting my grandmother.

[Ruftin]

I see you have had to deal with emotional abuse yourself...so it's hard not to repeat this cycle. I have had to deal with emotional abuse all of my life. I also have bipolar disorder which makes it hard for me to control my anger.

I don't know if it is possible for you to exit the room when you feel angry and avoid the conversation all together. Have you visited this forum??

Relationships & Communication - Forums at Psych Central

This forum is not just for couples and married people. Browse the posts and see if anything catches your eye. I wish you the best.

[CANDC]

No need to apologize Ad Intra. It is not easy not saying the things that are in our mind when we are angry. It got to the point where i had to excuse myself to go the bathroom where I cooled off.

Coming down hard on yourself and doing self harm only reinforces the cycle of hurt and guilt.

I can tell you two things I do. Write down the things that are on my mind in a notebook where no one is hurt.

And I practice this breathing counting exercise until I gain some self control and can even do the exercise when I am just starting to get upset.

Breathing exercise - relaxed breathing do not force it.
If you are feeling very anxious or angry or just want to calm down, you can try a breathing exercise that takes the attention away from the trigger of anxiety to a simple tool of counting breaths.

Find a comfortable position seated or laying down. Begin to relax your breathing. Silently count 1 on the inhale, and two on the exhale. Then silently count 3 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale. Continue up to 10 or until you lose the count then return to one. No judgement. I sometimes end up at 18 then smile and return to 1. The idea is to focus on the breath and the counting and not get sucked into the anxiety or anger trigger. Also works to quiet the mind.