[Northern88]

It feels like I have to cut or harm my self in order to keep safe . I feel like someone is controlling my thoughts and making me feel like I need to do it .

Are you seeing a therapist or pdoc?

[Northern88]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

Are you seeing a therapist or pdoc?

No but going for assessment with the acute mental health team

[Frankbtl]

Hi Northern,

I'm sorry you're going through this
But good that you'll hopefully be getting some of the help you need from your assessment
Can be good to have a support network though and if we at PC can be part of that it hopefully help you a bit more.
I'd say that a lot of people are going to relate to some of the things you've been feeling..........using cutting to keep safe..........feeling like those thoughts almost "have a life of their own"............
Just for different people they can have different meanings if you want to tell us a bit more about how you're experiencing them e.g. keeping safe can be keeping safe from the so overwhelming/uncontrollable feelings by having that "release", by using it to stop yourself doing "something else" or.............and the thoughts sometimes from "past experiences", sometimes from "impulses" or OCD or............
Lots of different possibilities...........but you are going to find people on here who understand and can be here to support you.
So if you want to talk more...........



Alison

[Northern88]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi Northern,

I'm sorry you're going through this
But good that you'll hopefully be getting some of the help you need from your assessment
Can be good to have a support network though and if we at PC can be part of that it hopefully help you a bit more.
I'd say that a lot of people are going to relate to some of the things you've been feeling..........using cutting to keep safe..........feeling like those thoughts almost "have a life of their own"............
Just for different people they can have different meanings if you want to tell us a bit more about how you're experiencing them e.g. keeping safe can be keeping safe from the so overwhelming/uncontrollable feelings by having that "release", by using it to stop yourself doing "something else" or.............and the thoughts sometimes from "past experiences", sometimes from "impulses" or OCD or............
Lots of different possibilities...........but you are going to find people on here who understand and can be here to support you.
So if you want to talk more...........



Alison

It's like someone is controlling the way I think and feel it's really getting me down . The only thing that stops it all is music which helps me to think more clearly .

I sometimes have visions of me going to my sons nursery

Possible trigger:

and setting my self on fire or cutting my wrists.

My family also make me very angry at times.

[i dont matter]

Originally Posted by Northern88

It feels like I have to cut or harm my self in order to keep safe . I feel like someone is controlling my thoughts and making me feel like I need to do it .

I can TOTALLY relate to this. I certainly could tell you all the stuff my therapist has told me

I.E. If you had a child, and there were in your position - would you advise them to self harm?

But, I will also be *real* enough to acknowledge that at times - logic can not prevail...... that the ONLY thing that keeps you safe is to do something that in your heart-of-hearts you *know* will do nothing to help you. It is just giving an excuse to self harm.

I have used that excuse many times myself. I have "failed" many, many times. It is my hope that you find a **better** way of coping.

EITHER way - hugs of support to you.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Northern,

Thanks for getting back

It sounds like it's a real struggle for you right now
It would be real good if we were able to diagnose you on here and offer you support from there........but obviously we can't.........so hopefully the assessment team can help with that and the best we can do........is try to offer you some support with what you're going through right now...........

So.............to try to manage/control/reduce the thoughts.............could you try to identify any triggers or situations where the thoughts are more rapid/intense and work on stepping away from them a bit?? Would scheduling in more time for yourself with music, if you needed it, slow down those thoughts reappearing?? Would it be possible for you to have more music playing in the background at times, or use headphones at times?? Are there any other things that might make you feel "safe"?? Have you tried techniques like meditation or mindfulness?? Could you use a mantra to recite to yourself when the thoughts appear......something to push them away?? Would giving that "someone" a name help you feel more in control/able to challenge them?? Could you deflect some of those thoughts be getting deeply involved in something e.g. art?? Is there anything in your past you feel you need help with??
You mentioned a son at nursery........could you link these feelings with the pregnancy/birth/after birth..........could you need help along those lines??
So just a few thoughts..........obviously you don't need to answer them all on here.......but maybe some things for you to think about???

And for your assessment team it might be good if you could write down as many details as you you're going through...........you know the kind of thing.........what/when/how often........and any links you can maybe attribute some of the thoughts too..........



Alison

[Northern88]

I know I haven't answered your questions but the SH seems to be getting out of hand .