TW - really really bad cut

i cut BADBADBADBAD last night. Like really really bad. I have it all wrapped in gauze and a sweatshirt. But it's really really bad. It's lterally the most horrifying thing I've ever seen on myself. I'm scared to tell therapist tomorrow because she will ask to see. I don't know. I'm scared but I'm actually more afraid of her cancelling because I think this needs some serious medical attention and I don't think I'll get it myself. I know it's too late for stitches.

I'm supposed to be working on stopping and I totally messed up AGAIN.

I can't look at it because i's making me want to faint.

I did something similar awhile ago and had to get 20 stitches, I would recommending going in and getting stitches if you can see stuff from it being wide open so it will heal better

It's been too long. It's been like 18 hours, I think they will only stitch up to 8. I am also afraid of it being considered a suicide attempt and the ER making me stay.

Please take care of yourself...what time do you see your T tomorrow? Maybe you should call her (or text or e-mail) to give her a heads up. Even if it's too late for stitches (I know nothing about the timing for that), you probably need some sort of medical care to prevent infection. Or to prevent excessive blood loss.

And please get rid of whatever implement you used so you're not tempted to hurt yourself like that again before seeing T... You're too good of a person to hurt yourself even more...

She called today to change the appointment time and I missed it. I called the dept secretary back instead. I wish I got her call though, It's pathetic but I needed her to tell me to go to the ER. I fell asleep instead.

I have gauze around it and it's stuck like glue. I think I am going to
Soak it. Thanks for listening everyone.

PinkFlamingo, this is severe. Something has to be done or it is going to kill you.

It sounds like it is time to go inpatient. You are a severe danger to yourself if you are doing this kind of physical damage to your body and not seeking immediate treatment for stitches and prevention of infection. You could be inflicting permanent damage to nerves, muscle, and other tissues. You've got to impress on your doctors exactly how severe this is because you may not be intending to kill yourself, but you could very well end up doing so with the level of damage you are doing.

Thanks, am seeing outpatient psych tomorrow morning. She will ask to see it when I tell her because she always does.

I'm scared too. I'm even scared to look at it. I don't intend to look at it again until I'm in her office.

You need to go inpatient. You can not keep yourself safe anymore.

A large laceration such as you are describing often may be sutured up to 24 hours.

I'm so sorry.

Oh Pink, you need to get help, now, please don't wait any longer

Are you OK, PinkFlamingo? Hope you haven't updated because you're currently getting medical help...

Hey Pink....just saw this....so sorry that you are struggling and going through such severe SH.....not sure of the time zone issue....have you seen your pdoc....did you get medial attention.....are you going IP?

Thanks everyone! I am okay and home. I'll update you guys later! Xo

Glad to hear from you.

Yes, so glad you're OK! Please update when you can.

Thanks everyone. I really need help, it's good to be "forced" into it a bit. I have a hard time caring for myself.

I'm glad you're in a safe place