What did I do

SheHulk07 · 12:03 AM

Possible trigger and possibly not in the right spot.

I did something that I don't know if it's counts as self harm. I have not told anyone, not even my therapist, and I feel so f ed up about it. I keep telling myself I shouldn't have done it, what's wrong with me, etc.

I don't know how to put this is a box...

Possible trigger:

I have an IUD, and I pushed the strings up into my cervix with a qtip. I wanted them out of the way, and figured that if the doctors couldn't find it, they'd have to remove it. Then I could get my sex drive back, and my husband would stop raping me in my sleep. These are the thoughts in my head.

But the problem is, I might have hurt myself in doing it. I have lots of pain, etc, and now I have to have an ultrasound to see if it perforated.

I caused this myself, just like when

Possible trigger:

I stabbed myself.

My intent was not to do harm, but it might have done a lot of harm.

What's wrong with me?

RedSun · Aug 27, 2015, 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmyFed07

my husband would stop raping me in my sleep.

What's wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you. No wonder you are resorting to desperate measures, and hurting yourself, you are being abused by someone close to you. I'm so sorry.

Please please tell someone about this if you haven't already, talk to your T, get some help.

SheHulk07 · Aug 27, 2015, 10:18 PM

I haven't talked to anyone about this situation, not even my Ts. I'm extremely uncomfortable about what I did, and don't want them to freak and consider me a high risk again.

I'm just hoping it didn't do any damage, and it's still chilling up in my uterus safe and sound.

LonesomeTonight · Aug 27, 2015, 10:26 PM

Could you contact your gyno and just say you can't notice the strings anymore? And have had some pain? I'm sure things happen by accident, so no need to say you did it yourself. Definitely get checked out though.

That's awful about your H...I'm sorry. It sounds like he doesn't have any respect for you.

SheHulk07 · Aug 27, 2015, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Could you contact your gyno and just say you can't notice the strings anymore? And have had some pain? I'm sure things happen by accident, so no need to say you did it yourself. Definitely get checked out though.

That's awful about your H...I'm sorry. It sounds like he doesn't have any respect for you.

I had an appointment on Tuesday with my gyno for pain and said I couldn't find the strings, but not WHY I couldn't find them. She tried to probe for them, but no luck. I have an ultrasound in 2 weeks to see if it's still there...going to call tomorrow to see if I can move it up a week. She said that could be very well be why I'm having so much pain if it's not there.

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