[katelyn1019]

Ok, so I had been clean for about 7 months until just a few hours ago. Honestly, I was totally fine. Nothing dramatic or stressful happened that made me want to SI, I just did it because I was bored. My mirror fell and broke the other day and I saved one of the shards of glass just for fun. I just found it earlier and was going to throw it away, but then I saw the scars running down my leg and decided to try it again. I cut myself once..then again...then again...and again and again. I was just bored and kinda forgot what self harming even felt like. Now I'm back to day one and I totally regret it. I should have never done it in the first place.

[kaliope]

i dont know if it is about being bored really. myself, i sense a longing. seeing the scars, the implements. it calls out and it is a difficult call not to answer. it promises a sense of peace and who doesnt want that? the problem is we become complacent in our coping skills and answer that call. then we feel the regret and shame. when we hear that call, we have to jump on our skills and use them, think about the outcome so that we dont do it. Again, i think it is complaceny, not boredom. take care and dont be so hard on yourself.

Originally Posted by katelyn1019

Ok, so I had been clean for about 7 months until just a few hours ago. Honestly, I was totally fine. Nothing dramatic or stressful happened that made me want to SI, I just did it because I was bored. My mirror fell and broke the other day and I saved one of the shards of glass just for fun. I just found it earlier and was going to throw it away, but then I saw the scars running down my leg and decided to try it again. I cut myself once..then again...then again...and again and again. I was just bored and kinda forgot what self harming even felt like. Now I'm back to day one and I totally regret it. I should have never done it in the first place.

you can start again and do just as good.. i've faith in you

hugs

[Fiction95]

I have been there and done that, but you should take that as strength. You could have resisted, but chose not too. Take the guilt and use it in future.

I find that wanting to stop is the hardest part of stopping because if you truly want ti stop you can resist much stronger urges. Use the guilt of doing it this time as a reason to want to stop. The hardest part of stopping sh is to want too.