Can I belong here?

I posted a similar item to the depression group before I saw this group; apologies for duplication.

I intentionally emotionally self harm; I will think about if my grandchildren were to die just so I can feel some emotion. I do it until my chest aches. Is this why some people cut? Can I belong to this group?

I am not able to convince my therapist how much this means to me; she is not dismissive but I feel we are not connecting on this one topic.

Lazarus

Self harrming can be interpreted broadly as to include anything that causes us pain and suffering. I think your therapist may be looking at harming in the physical sense or in the form of addiction.

I am not offering a precise thing you may be suffering from, but it seems you could be obsessing about people and things in your life. Here are ways to cope with that
Some Ideas to Help Stop Obsessing | World of Psychology

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems are more manageable the more they help others.

Anxiety chat is from 8PM EST on Wednesday and Depression chat is 9PM EST on Thursday. Many people go there with other diagnoses so if you want to meet some people and find support there you are certainly welcome. And their are other chats too. When you have 5 posts you can check the schedule on the Calendar in the blue bar above. Bipolar Chat has been happening on Saturday night at 9PM EST.

Glad you are joining us here. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

I do something similar (but different): I sometimes deliberately trigger myself (I have PTSD) through looking on certain websites, for example the website from a primary school I attended (and was severely bullied). Never the stuff that'll make me panic because I wouldn't be able to cope if I did that, but just enough to hurt.

I'm sorry you're feeling like doing this is the only option (because you wouldn't do it if there were more options, I'm sure). You'll find PC is a very supportive place to share just about anything.