[Babyorca03]

i seen the doc today, i started opening up, i almost cried, too much to handle but anyways, i talked to him about the cutting and i was shocked for him to tell me that he wasn't going to stop it, i understand he sees it as my way out but can't he get into trouble if some day i was to cut a little too deep?
nikki

[Rapunzel]

Nikki,

He's there to help you, not to get you into trouble. If you cut too deep it might be necessary for you to be treated for that, but it's not about you getting into trouble. I hope that you will work on finding other ways to cope so that it doesn't get that bad. I'm glad that you have a doctor who understands and isn't giving you a hard time.

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}
Wendy

<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>

[dalila]

Well, that was about what my therapist said, if I was going to cut there was not a lot she could do to stop me I had to want to stop myself. She did however focus on other things I could do to take the place of cutting.

Thing is if you are determined to cut nothing will stop you and if you are determined to stop you can find the way. Talking to your therapist about it is one good way to work on stopping. I hate having to admit when I run out of other resourses and cut or for me I use pins and needles just enough to bleed and hurt. I think the ideal was not that it was cool to cut but that you are starting on a trip that you are going to have walk yourself. Our therapists can hold our hands but it is up to us individually to do wht it takes to learn to stop and to learn to do the things that help us to stop

Dalila

[SweetCrusader]

He is taking a risk working with someone who si's, but anybody who works with si is taking that risk. They can face some problems if their client hurts themself. I don't think he was trying to encourage you to continue using si as your coping method or anything. T

ypically when a person enters therapy and says that they si, an experienced therapist will not attempt to immediately put a stop to the behavior. This is because s/he recognizes that to do so could risk alienating you- making you feel judged, misunderstood, or accused. Also, a person who understands si recognizes that it is a sign that the client wants to heal in some way. Maybe most of us feel ambivalent about giving up the behavior, but I'm pretty sure a large majority of us would agree that we do it usually in a way to feel better, to cope- not just to cause more hurting. (Although feeling better is, of course, not the only reason for si).

Your doc may be taking that into consideration and wanting to establish a healthy relationship with you before asking you to make any changes. He also may consider it important to (1) understand how you currently cope, (2) help you learn new ways of coping and only then (3) suggest that you try new ways. Also, some therapists consider it very important to emphasize to the client that s/he is in control of the behavior and nobody else can change it. It's supposed to help you understand that somewhere inside of you, you have the power to overcome it and that your therapist does not have that power. S/he can provide tools, but ultimately, the client has to use them! The therapist is there to help teach us how to do so.

Maybe you could bring this up with him, and let him know that you just want to understand why he chooses to respond the way he does- and what he meant by what he said.

Take Care!
SweetCrusader (Angela)

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown