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Old May 27, 2004, 10:45 AM
ErinBear ErinBear is offline
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Member Since: May 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 871
Hi,

I have a doctor's appointment today, and a procedure that I am really, really frightened about, where they are going to do an involved test/procedure/treatment in a private area of my body. I won't go into details because I don't want to trigger people. Anyway, it has really been scaring me for a long time, waiting for this. It is really, really , really *really* hard. And harder yet - I wasn't able to find a ride, or anybody to go with me. Even my counselor is out of town! I'd hoped I could talk to him afterwards, or make an appointment soon or something. eek. Because I think I am going to be really messed up. It is hard to think of doing this alone and being messed up alone also.

I have been wanting to hurt myself a lot and I have not done so, partly because I can't hide it during the procedure and I can't explain it (I'll probably be wearing one of those fashionable hospital gowns <G>). But also I haven't been self-injuring and I keep trying to stay away from it. And I know my counselor says somehow it hurts him when I hurt me, and I really like him, and I don't want him to hurt, although I don't understand that. But boy, it is really hard, and I really want to do hurting things to myself just now. But I am not doing that. And pretty soon I need to get ready to go to this appointment and I am upset and scared and....ick.

Oh well....thanks for listening.

Take care,
ErinBear

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  #2  
Old May 27, 2004, 11:23 AM
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SunshineGold03 SunshineGold03 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2004
Location: RI, USA
Posts: 369
Erin,
Best of luck to you during this procedure. Wishing you well. Let us know how you made out.

Jenn

Doctor appointment/test
  #3  
Old May 27, 2004, 12:46 PM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
Posts: 10,284
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ErinBear}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Sending good thoughts to help you get through the test. If you feel like it, come talk to us afterwards, or whenever you need to. You're welcome to PM me if you would like.
Wendy

<font color=orange>"Never forget: 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."</font color=orange>
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg

  #4  
Old May 27, 2004, 04:33 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,637
Good luck ErinBear, I will be thinking of you ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))

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  #5  
Old May 27, 2004, 05:24 PM
ErinBear ErinBear is offline
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Member Since: May 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 871
Thank you Jenn...I sure appreciate it.

Take care,
ErinBear

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  #6  
Old May 27, 2004, 05:26 PM
ErinBear ErinBear is offline
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Member Since: May 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 871
Thank you Wendy. The appointment went worse than I expected. It was really, really hard. I am *so* wishing my counselor were in town and I could call him. This is very hard. Anyway thanks for listening. And thanks for thinking of me.

Take care,
ErinBear

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  #7  
Old May 27, 2004, 05:29 PM
ErinBear ErinBear is offline
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Member Since: May 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 871
Thanks Fuzzybear - and hey - I love your graphic! (I'm very fond of teddy bears, as you might guess).

Take care,
ErinBear

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Doctor appointment/test
  #8  
Old May 28, 2004, 01:23 PM
Zenobia Zenobia is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2002
Location: Washington, USA
Posts: 1,130
ErinBear,
I hope the procedure went well. You are in my thoughts right now. Take care dear one,
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft
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