[aarya10]

My therapist told me that they'd have no choice but to tell my parents about my self harm if I started cutting myself.

I've only told my therapist that I bruise myself but I haven't told them about the cutting, and now I know I can't because of that.

My parents won't understand and will probably kick me out of the house if they knew. Or it'd make them lose their minds. They're asian and don't know much about mental illnesses at all, and they used to be very abusive too.

I'm so so sad because my therapist is the only person I have in my life who I can talk to. I have no friends and no family members who'll understand.

I wish I could talk about my cutting to someone, but now I can't.

It's not much, but you have us. We'll be glad to listen any time you want to talk.

[aarya10]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

It's not much, but you have us. We'll be glad to listen any time you want to talk.

I appreciate it sooo much

I just wish I could tell my therapist about it because I need help stopping, but I can't risk letting my parents know. So I feel like I'll never be able to get help for it

[adam_k]

I'm sorry you can't talk to your therapist about it. It must be hard to keep it all inside. I've talked to my therapist about my self harm and she helped some.

Why do you do it? How does it make you feel?

[ilikecats]

Maybe you could get a new T who is willing to talk about without telling your parents. Or wait until you're 18, and then I don't think a T would be allowed to tell parents unless it was like super severe or something.

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[21stCenturySM]

Wait until your 18, then your T can't tell them anything without your consent, they can however try to get you hospitalized. I'm new here but I am here to listen or talk to. I have had the same issues, I'm pretty scarred up, I just cover them with tattoos.

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[aarya10]

Originally Posted by ilikecats

Maybe you could get a new T who is willing to talk about without telling your parents. Or wait until you're 18, and then I don't think a T would be allowed to tell parents unless it was like super severe or something.

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I am an adult actually! 21 years old, which is why I was quite surprised when my T said they'd have to tell my parents if I were using blades.

They didn't specify whether they meant severe cutting or just cutting in general. And I didn't want to ask because I was afraid that would make my T suspicious.

[ilikecats]

Since you're 21, I don't think your T could tell your parents. My T did tell my mom once, but that was because she was so concerned about me that she had to send me to the hospital. But before that she didn't tell her, even though she wanted to, because I'm an adult. So I don't think your T would be able to actually tell your parents without breaking confidentiality.

[thesnowqueen]

I think you need to negotiate this with T. Make it clear to her that you cannot be entirely open, and discuss things you need to discuss, due to the rules she is proscribing. Perhaps you can agree to limits - like that she can notify your parents IF she has reason to believe your life is in immediate danger...

[seesaw]

I think your T would be breaking the law if she told your parents without your consent. You need to challenge her on this or find a new T that you can trust and be completely open with. I, personally, would find a new T and tell this one that I was leaving her care because she threatened to break my confidentiality and that if she does after I leave her that I will report her.

Seesaw

[notz]

Aarya10, I see you are from Asia. Since you are age 21 and said you are an adult, what in Asia gives your T the right to tell your parents? Most of us on Psych Central are in the United States and a T isn't supposed to break confidentiality like you described, what's the difference in your country?

[aarya10]

Originally Posted by notz

Aarya10, I see you are from Asia. Since you are age 21 and said you are an adult, what in Asia gives your T the right to tell your parents? Most of us on Psych Central are in the United States and a T isn't supposed to break confidentiality like you described, what's the difference in your country?

I recall my old T telling me that they would maintain my privacy because I was an adult, so I think it's the same as the US system. They'd have to break confidentiality if I were a threat to myself or the people around me.

But that sucks because how else am I supposed to get help for self harm? My self harm isn't too severe, but I feel like them potentially telling my parents would be far more harmful to me.

From another Asian, I relate on parents not understanding on mental illness.

Could you maybe tell your T that your parents won't understand and used to be really abusive?

I live in an Asian country too, and my privacy as an adult is respected as I'm over 21.

When my younger brother was still a minor at 19, as the person paying for his psychotherapy, I made sure his T knew I wanted him to have complete privacy. His T had no issue.

I hope your T will reconsider telling your parents.