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#1
May 31, 2016, 11:34 PM
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I have bipolar 1 and I am going through a mixed episode, I am very depressed but also angry and unable to sleep. I am extremely frustrated because I can't concentrate on anything. I can't switch off.
For the past few days I have had bouts of hitting my head and face as hard as I can. Now my face is swollen with some bruising, and one ear is extremely red and swollen. I live on my own and I don't know what to do. I have one friend who knows I do this. I am desperate to hide it from my family. I am so shocked by what I have done I don't think I'll do it again, (at least in the next few weeks, I have hurt myself before). I think I could make my face pass for normal but not my ear. I will have to think of some good excuses not to see anyone. I am worried I will end up in a psychiatric ward, as I have before. I had to come off Seroquel with the help of my psychiatrist last year as I had the beginnings of Tardive Dyskinesia. I stopped drinking a year ago as I couldn't cut down to a healthy level. I think I'll be ok, if I can just hide for a while, but really just needed to speak anonymously. Last edited by FooZe; Jun 01, 2016 at 04:26 AM. Reason: added trigger icon |
 seesaw, Skeezyks, TishaBuv
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#2
Jun 01, 2016, 07:55 AM
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I had started hitting myself several years ago and did it intermittently up until several months ago. It happened when I felt so frustrated, the stress just took me over and I internalized it. I literally beat myself up because I couldn't fix or escape my problem, which was my bad marriage.
I just decided to stop doing it, and had to make a concerted effort not to do it when the frustration and anger swelled inside me.
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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#3
Jun 04, 2016, 10:24 PM
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I'm sorry you feel so bad that you're hurting yourself. Can you hit something besides yourself? Like a pillow or a stuffed animal? I'm sure you've heard this suggestion before but I thought I'd bring it up anyways. One thing I used to do was take a hot shower and yell at the top of my lungs at everyone/everything I was mad at/about.
Seesaw
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 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#4
Jun 05, 2016, 01:55 PM
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I bashed my head and kept it secret from others. Eventually, I discussed it with my doctor, who has been helpful.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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