An absence of emotion/release when SI'ing

Normally when I SI it is to release an enormous amount of emotional tension that has built up. The act of doing it literally feels as though I'm letting the air slowly out of a balloon. Or like when you put something in a ziplock bag and then you have to press it down to get the air out.

Lately the SI has been accompanied by numbness. I don't feel that release when I do it. Maybe it's because I have been feeling emotionally dead in general, so perhaps my reasoning for doing it has changed-- to feel physical pain rather than emotional release.... maybe in hopes that the pain will make me feel something?

No. That doesn't resonate with me. That's not it...

Either way, it's very weird. I have SI'ed quite a lot over the past week.... and I feel nothing while I'm doing it. I mean, I can physically feel the pain, it's not as if there is a dissociation or anything... I'm talking emotional. There is nothing there.

I wonder what is going on...

I think Emotional Intensity has two extremes ... think you just described them...

in the case of my ED (can be form of SI)... it simply no longer works as a release.. it has quit being the release of emotions.... so needed to find something else.. ie massage therapy...that releases emotions..
just a thought.. for me it is progress.. the mechanism (ED) that I used to use.. no longer works.. went onto something that works in a more positive fashion.
Though there is a transitional period, that I have spent some time (dabbling).. trying to make the ED still work..but since I am not getting what I "want" from it ie the release of my emotions.. there is no "sense" in doing it..

none of this probably makes sense..

My si has always has a simular effect....Im so calm afterwards......all I can think pinksoil, is maybe the numb is the depression....I mean I havent been able to really cry in over a year....depression can skew all of your emotions.

Hey pinksoil...

I think that SIng can bring about both extremes. Some people do it to get emotional release, some people do it to actually 'feel' something. It just depends on different circumstances.

Sorry you're feeling emotionally dead - I know the feeling.

((((((((((Pinksoil)))))))))))))))

I started to SI for the same reason, emotional release. Soon it got to be where it wasn't enough. I needed it more and more and it got more dangerous along with that. Please try to be careful.