I can't do this anymore. I am going to SI if I don't get the %$#$ Out of here. None gives a damn that I am averaging two hours of sleep a night, that I am so tired I am collapsing. Family don't want to help. Do you want to know what he is doing right know! Sleeping! When do I get to sleep. Not at night, no naps during the day. I can't nap because I have a daughter to care for. After his therapy today I am gone. I don't know where I am going but I am gone. He needs to step up and care for himself. He can sit in his urine for a week I don't care. He don't care that I am excausted so why should I care about him. I just Keep thinking of the blood pouring out of me. It would feel so good. I can't go there. i wont go there. Why does no one care about me.

[damajdancer]

((((((((((( twirls01 ))))))))))))))
we care about you here at pc. and we want good things for you. i am so sorry that you are having all these problems...but it does get better! please dont hurt your self. you are to good for that.
take care

<font color="#000088">I understand what it feels like to have a family that doesn't give a damn. My family tells me to off myself all the time, that they would be better off without me! Mostly my Mom! So I know how it feels. But running away won't make it any better, you're problems will follow you wherever you go, unless it's just your family. But the internal suffering won't end, no matter where you are. And I know sleep deprivation can cause some serious anxiety, and make things so much harder for you to deal with. I really hope that soon you can get a good nights sleep, for your own sake. We here at PC really do care about your welfare, and want you to be okay, and hope that you'll be okay. There are many of us that are here to help, and that are going through similar issues,so we understand your frustration.
I hope you get feeling better, and get some much needed sleep. And don't end up SI'ing over all these things you're dealing with! Because we care!
Try really hard to get some sleep, it might help relieve some of your anxiety!</font>

((((damajdancer and justice)))) Thank you. I really needed this support.

I am so burnt out and tired. I emailed a family member that moved out of country to let her know what happens everyday around here. Well I had mentioned my problem and asked for suggestions. She told me I should have thought about that before I became a mom. WHATTTT???? My daughter sleeps throught the night. I can't because I have to get stuff done that I can't do during the day because of my husbands disability. Most moms get to sleep when there kids do. I don't. I was so mad. To make matters worse my husband agreed with the family member. I am not emailing her anymore. She feels homesick oh well. She should have thought about that before moving to another country.

[Soidhonia]

(((TWIRLS))). I am very sorry for your struggles at this time. Can you get HELP for you and to help with your husband such as an aide. If your husband is on disability then I would surely look into getting an aide to help come in to help cook meals and help clean the house, and perhaps with your husband in order to let you rest. It is no wonder that you are exhausted many caregivers are exhausted. Even if the aide just gives you the time to get the groceries and go out with your child and get away for a bit it will help. I really feel that you need to get your therapist more involved even if it means getting a case manager to help direct you to the best home health care aides for your husband and his disability. Case managers are very good at directing people with mental health disorders when they are overwhelmed with taking on everything in the household such as yourself. I hope the best for you (((TWIRLS))). Take care. Soidhonia

[Rapunzel]

Ask if there is any respite care available. Caregivers do get burned out, and when you have your own problems to deal with yourself, and his on top of it, that would be really rough. I could see the pair of you, both needing help, engaging in behaviors that might get progressively worse, almost competitively (even not meaning to be so intentionally) as each of you tries unsuccessfully to get the help that you need. Please ask for help from someone who is in a position to help you and/or help you find the kind of help that you need.

[selfy]

i know it sucks. im here for u if u ever want to talk or need support. try to get some part time care from someone else, it shouldnt be expected for u to do this alone.
take care
self

<font color="#000088">I agree, there should be some way you can get some help with some of the things that need to be done during the day. That way you can get some sleep at night, with your daughter sleeping at the same time!
I'd seriously check into it, ask your T. about it! </font>

((((everyone))))
I am doing better with the exception of being manic. Help is on the way. We are having aids 5 days a week 3 hours one day and 2 another. His health insurance paid for it. So coooool. i thought that aids only helped older adults.

<font color="#000088">That's really good news! Maybe now you'll be able to get caught up on some of that sleep you really need and want so bad. It should really help relieve a good part of your stress level to, having the help you need, and the extra sleep!
I'm really glad you were able to get the help arranged.
I wish you the best of luck on things getting better for you, around the house, and being able to get more sleep! </font>