[holmes96]

I'm new here.

when i was bout 13yrs i 1st cut myself, since then i've always found relief from hurting myself (normally hitting stuff). but within da past 2yrs i've been gettin more serious and started cutting myself and burning myself with cigarettes (even though i dont smoke, regularly at least).

a while ago i stopped 4 bout 2 wks, but have now started again. i seem 2 find any excuse 2 do it. is this wrong? wots wrong with me? i'm loosing da plot.

[x_BabyG_x]

I'm sorry to hear about this. You ask your self the question 'what's wrong?' a few times here. First of all, you have to remind yourself that there are so many people in the world who do this, including myself, so your not alone for one.
Can I ask you what made you think about cutting yourself in the first place? Maybe if you find out what started this all off, you can begin to have a deeper understanding of all this..

Love Baby G x x x

[holmes96]

well the very first reason, wen i was 13, was coz i upset a girl. but now its 4 reasons i kno of but, without being rude dont want 2 discuss. i've tried stoppin da 'reasons', it hasnt worked. i've tried distracting myself from SH wen i get tht way, but then i norm go 4 a drive at really dangerous speeds. lol. or resorting 2 drinking. but in honesty i do all of them.

anyway, cheers 4 ur support.

[x_BabyG_x]

No probs

Well, chin up for now, and remember anytime you feel the need to 'let it out' you can always come on here and chat. Oh and by reading the post things to do instead of self harming really helped for me, Im sure theres at least one thing that might work for you!

Take care xxx

[Jazz91]

i know how you feel when i was about 14 i got dumped by this guy that i was in love with, he was suicidal and when he dumped me i started cutting myself i kept doing that til i met my next boyfriend and we were together til the middle of last year when he dumped me i started smoking when that happened to relieve the stress and it stopped me from suicidal thoughts then i got with this oda guy and he hurt me really bad and i realised that i needed serious help so i quit smoking and stopped self harm and started talking to peoplle and that has helped me alot

[holmes96]

I've tried tlkin 2 a friend, but since i've told him bout my self harming i've avoided tlking 2 him and wen i do i always say i'm fine and much better, even though i'm not. in fact i all my friends seem 2 think tht i'm fine and nothings wrong with me (coz i hide it and lie 2 them). but really i'm screwed up and confused as hell. sometimes i wish i was dead! but i never can get myself 2 make a deep enough cut on my wrist, tough i have come close. i nd help, but i dont kno where 2 get it! i've tried samaritans , ht dont work, i've tried my uni counselling but tht dont work!

[x_BabyG_x]

I feel exactly the same.

Me and my friends are really close and a few of them are aware about my self harming, but seems like they just ignore it. Even though I know that they'd be there for me for ANYTHING, I still feel I have no one to talk to. I think the reason why they dont seem to bring it up to attention is because either they are frightened themselves, scared I might not want to talk about it or simply because I put on a show in front of them and make them think I'm ok (when actually I'm screaming for help inside).

Any of your friends who know about your situation, maybe it would help if you explained to them that your not doing good and to show them that it is ok for them to talk about it to you openly. I recently let my boyfriend know that he can mention it anytime and I have to say it helps a lot more because he regularly asks how Im feeling now and brings it out into the open and gives me a chance to talk about it.
By doing that Ive gone from thinking I have no one to talk to and that no one cares about how I am coping, to having someone to bring it up every so often and it truely does help me

BabyG xxx

[holmes96]

I'm gonna try 2 tell another friend 2nite. i hope i can. i'll let u kno how it goes

[psychoticcounselor]

i do it to just not feel inside. i want to be numb. u relate?

[holmes96]

well i tried tellin a friend, but i jst couldnt! i dont want another person lookin at me diff. well another failure under my belt! joy!

[x_BabyG_x]

ahh, dont give up!

what about the people that are aware of it, have you not spoken to them?

xxx

[mlpHolmes]

Hi holmes 96! Your name made me smile I cut also, but I am a lot older than you. And I am a Teacher - High School, 27 years. From your post it sounds like you are handling this alone. That is quite a burden holmes. There are people who can & want to help you, & talking & sharing with them will make a tremendous difference toward alleviating your struggle. Some adults will not be able to handle this issue, I'm being honest & straight with you, however, plenty of adults do want to help you and Can! Could you consider speaking to a Teacher,a Relative - Uncle, Aunt, Cousin, Brother someone at Church, someone you trust, & is understanding. If you act on this now, you can get help now-please don't wait like I did-that was a big mistake. PM if you would like to, I'm here for you & I care about You.

[holmes96]

thanks 4 ur support guys.

though, despite ur advice i'm not gonna tell anybody bout it anymore. i deal with things better by myself, i'm v. self-conscious. and plus if i cant deal with this by myself then i'll b screwed in later life, wen things get tougher.

holmes

[Kiya]

maybe....
but maybe you just gotta find the right person to tell, eh?
hugs, kiya