[mssumom]

It has been a long time since I have cut and never thought I would let myself do it again, it has been years since I made any serious cuts.

I fell apart after a 3 week hospitalization and ended back in there for another 7 days for cutting myself. I called my therapist and he met me at the ER and went through the whole process with me but I felt so ashamed going back to the floor all cut up like that. I could feel everyone's disappointment in me. It took 18 stitches and 7 butterflies to close them up. I haven't ever cut that bad before.........I feel like such a waste of space.

[mlpHolmes]

You haven't done it for years?!!! That's what you can focus on!! That is a great accomplishment!! I am so glad you had the support of your T & I can understand your feelings in that ER room back at the hospital. Perhaps change your focus, a whole new perspective!!! Focus on all those years (Good for You!!!!)of choosing differently!!! It's not easy. Don't bash your head against the wall it's done now, it's not the Titanic that's gone. Begin fresh & new. I believe you can do it!!! Keep me posted I care so much!mp

[Fuzzybear]

I agree with mlpHolmes, it's so great that you hadn't made serious cuts for years. We're not disappointed in you here, you slipped up - and you're certainly not a waste of space! Keep posting, lots of people here care about you, including me!
(((((((((((((( mssumom )))))))))))))))

[mssumom]

Thank you mlpholmes and Fuzzy.........it is great to know I can come here for support. They have been screwing around with my meds so much and things have been so difficult and different since I left my home of all those years and moved in with friends 3 hrs from my old home. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I feel useless and completely overwhelmed to get up and face each day as a nothing. The cutting came to easy even after all these years and now it seems nearly impossible to stop.

Thanks again to both of you.........

[LizardL8y]

It is always a risk that in times of high anxiety we will "fall off the wagon" no matter what the addiction is... including self mutilation. Since you did some serious damage, a visit to your doc is super necessary. You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. They are trained in this and may very well have seen much worse. Talk to them about what changed in you that put you back into this old form of coping. If you were "clean" for many years, you can get that way again!!!