[shygrapes3375]

I haven't self-harmed in a couple of years. I made myself stop for the people that I care about. The person I made a pact with to stop, left. She doesn't really care anymore, I guess. I've been keeping myself from doing it for the new people in my life who care about me, but I still get the urges. I still find myself rubbing the place I used to cut without much of a thought. I won't do it again, I won't go back there, but sometimes the urge to do so is overwhelming. I don't really feel like I can talk to anyone about it without them worrying, being judged, or being pitied.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this ongoing struggle. I have some similar sorts of experiences as well. My personal approach is simply to abide compassionately with my own urges. Here's a link to a description of the practice of compassionate abiding. Perhaps it can be of some help:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit.

[420milestogo]

Honestly, I thought that after years of not cutting, I would have lost all urges. But, I have been going through much of the same and I can promise you that waking up the next morning and realizing that your wrists and legs are still smooth and unharmed is very satisfying in the sense that you conquered the insurmountable drive to just give in to the dark mental corner where we shadowbox ourselves. I am proud of you for keeping clean for so long, and I know it hurts when the people that helped us stop end up leaving. However, I can promise you that whether it's on here or in the physical world, there are better reasons than just people to stay clean. You and I may not be supermodels or geniuses but we have unique traits and I believe that you will find your special niche and run like the wind with it. Best of luck to you ! I'm sending all the good vibes your way.

[moonmorgan]

I've been dealing with urges for 19 years, it never goes away You've done well.