another "is this si?" kinda question

ok this one, i know nobody is going to be able to tell me if this is or is not si. but i'm curious to hear if anyone has something to say about it.

i've been really depressed and i'm struggling a lot lately, and i've noticed that i'm isolating BIG time from people (mostly 3d, not as much isolating on here). i was thinking about it today, and i'm wondering if i'm doing this as a form of hurting myself. i really think i might be. i think there is more to it than that (a LOT more to it), but i wonder if i'm intentionally making things worse for myself. i guess it wouldn't be self-INJURY per se, but maybe self-sabotage.

i'm sure a lot of people, in this particular forum especially, isolate sometimes. seems to kinda go along with si a lot, i think. what are the reasons that you guys isolate? and does anyone think it's sometimes another way of hurting yourself more?

comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable

i always isolate myself when i'm feeling down...

i had a weird random thought... animals often isolate themselves when they're sick or hurt... do you think maybe we do it as an animal instinct? I don't know why animals do it, so I don't know why we do it... but maybe it's just some subconscious prehistoric thing...

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....Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose.

I know that I isolate myself for a lot of reasons. Sometimes when I feel as though I cannot communicate how horrible I feel I will isolate myself to show others that I am not alright. Most of the time when I isolate myself it is because I just cannot handle human contact. The most I can usually deal with is someone rubbing my back. When I get really bad I cannot talk...I do not even want to lift my head.
Being alone hurts...but sometimes being with others is just as bad.

Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

I think that isolating myself is just another of the symptoms of the underlying problem. The problem leads to SI, over eating, under eating, over working, isolating myself, inability to talk and a myriad of other things. This is actually a relief to me knowing that so many of my "Problems" are only symptoms of one underlying problem. There is less to "fix" that way. I have to keep this in mind because the many symptoms will over whelm me sometimes. Also I keep it in mind because I need to work on the symptoms in such a way that the underlying problem is healed rather then left to fester. I use my symptoms as a way to keep tabs on what lies underneath.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

Wow, Zenobia, I really like what you had to say about that. It would be good for me to work on thinking about it in that light, too. Thanks!

Angela (SC)

comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable

That's a really interesting thought, ghost. I never would've made that connection, but I see where you're going with it. So I guess isolation can sometimes be a self-protection thing, too. I can see that in my life. Hmm.... Something to think on. Thanks for sharing that thought

Angela (SC)

comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable

I hear you, Jessica! What you're describing sounds a lot like what I've been going through lately

comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable

We tend to think of SI as involving physical damage, but there are so many ways in which people hurt themselves, and I think that they are all coming from the same place, no matter which form they take. There are eating disorders, substance abuse, putting oneself in a position so as to be an easy target for abuse (physical, emotional, and/or sexual), and many others. Depriving yourself of things that you need, such as social contact, could definitely fit in this group, depending on your intent and what it means to you.

I hurt myself emotionally. Sometimes it is by deciding not to go to some event that I really wanted to go to, such as a party or some kind of get-together. I think that deciding that going to graduation ceremonies was meaningless and not bothering with it was another example. Sometimes I give people a chance to stop me from sabotaging myself, but they usually don't get it - I told both my husband and my (former) T that I didn't see the point in participating in graduation, and was really hoping that they would argue with me. Oh well. I would have sabotaged my trip to Norway and also going back to school last year if my husband had not pushed me to do what I needed to do in order to have those experiences. One of the most painful things I ever did to myself (which I have done twice) was to sell almost all of my goats. I cried and cried when I did that. Both times I kept one or two goats - that was the furthest I could go with it. I think that isolating yourself is another way to sabotage or hurt yourself, at least sometimes, and that various kinds of sabotage are part of the same self-destructiveness that includes SI.

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>