[naturalemotion5]

Havent been on here in a while...I'm going to therapy now but I don't trust my therapists or psychiatrists anymore due to bad experiences so I haven't mentioned this to my therapist yet

I stopped cutting a year or so ago after getting group therapy, but recently I started doing it again. I also started doing something I didn't ever do before much more frequently than the cutting, I punch or slap myself very hard in the face repeatedly. It takes a lot of willpower not to take it a few steps further.

I didn't think it hurt me much but I do have TMJ and today it hurt the worse it ever has to chew. I was sore for most of the day. I think that's a bad sign.

Does anyone else punch themselves and how do you usually stop? Feels like I'm fine then all of the sudden I lose it. Trying to breath and punch something else like a pillow. Sometimes it helps.

[SlumberKitty]

((naturalemotion5)) can you get a punching bag instead?

[Skeezyks]

I can't really offer a lot with regard to this. The one thing I can tell you from personal experience is that, while hitting your head may not do a lot of damage short-term, over the long haul it is a very bad idea!

I stopped when I realized I had done permanent non-treatable harm to myself. I know you wrote you don't trust therapists (or psychiatrists.) I'm not a fan either. But talking through what is going on inside you that is driving you to do this to yourself may be your best chance of putting it to rest once and for all. I hope you can. My best wishes to you...

[naturalemotion5]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

((naturalemotion5)) can you get a punching bag instead?

Not an option just yet, but that sounds like a pretty good idea because punching pillows sometimes just escalates into going at the bed frame or possessions (which I don't want at all). When I have a little bit more $ I'll look into it.

[naturalemotion5]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I can't really offer a lot with regard to this. The one thing I can tell you from personal experience is that, while hitting your head may not do a lot of damage short-term, over the long haul it is a very bad idea!

I stopped when I realized I had done permanent non-treatable harm to myself. I know you wrote you don't trust therapists (or psychiatrists.) I'm not a fan either. But talking through what is going on inside you that is driving you to do this to yourself may be your best chance of putting it to rest once and for all. I hope you can. My best wishes to you...

That's what I'm really afraid of. I didn't used to it before, I think its my alternative to cutting. I started to do it last night again but then went into the bathroom and cut and it stopped me in my tracks? I was done after the cutting.

Why I do it is a bit harder to pinpoint but I know its because emotionally I'm very distressed and certain things others do set me off...I might mention to my therapist that I started seeing and see what she says. I haven't mentioned anything deeper to her yet (she's very new) but I think its gotta happen at some point.