Have you ever been caught?

StripedTapir · Sep 14, 2018, 12:26 PM

Has anyone ever caught you in the act of self-harming?
Or found the thing you use?
Or seen scars when you were trying to hide them?
If so, how did you explain/deal with the situation?
Did it deter you from self-harming?

I have been careless recently and nearly caused a lot of trouble, but have mostly avoided any awkward confrontation

SlumberKitty · Sep 14, 2018, 01:23 PM

I've been "caught" with fresh wounds. It didn't deter me from self-harming, I just got better at hiding it. I just explained the situation honestly, unfortunately my parents were not in a mood to listen and tried to have me put IP. Another time a friend "caught" me with fresh wounds and got all hysterical. We aren't friends anymore.

StripedTapir · Sep 14, 2018, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I've been "caught" with fresh wounds. It didn't deter me from self-harming, I just got better at hiding it. I just explained the situation honestly, unfortunately my parents were not in a mood to listen and tried to have me put IP. Another time a friend "caught" me with fresh wounds and got all hysterical. We aren't friends anymore.

Sorry that happened to you SlumberKitty. I hope you can make friends who are more understanding. Take care x

SheHulk07 · Sep 14, 2018, 11:35 PM

My H has seen fresh wound plus found what I use. His reaction is less than sympathetic and lots of times he'll tell me to stop doing "that crap" or "get a new hobby". It hasn't stopped me at all.

StripedTapir · Sep 15, 2018, 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SheHulk07

My H has seen fresh wound plus found what I use. His reaction is less than sympathetic and lots of times he'll tell me to stop doing "that crap" or "get a new hobby". It hasn't stopped me at all.

Aw

Maybe he cares but is just upset and confused by your SI

byfnvy · Sep 15, 2018, 06:17 AM

I've been "caught" before numerous times, perhaps letting them catch me as a cry for help, but I always backed out or ended up regretting it.

Possible trigger:

High school - I let one classmate catch me, and she asked me to stop I think. I later wrote an article for a class project about it with the premise of being a former masochist and having newfound hope, with her being the only one to know the real context, and I stopped for a while, but went back to it and wrote a part II article that I kept to myself.

College - I was feeling bold about it and happy with my fresh cuts and rolled down my jacket sleeve a bit and my seatmate saw and was concerned. I don't remember talking about it.

College again, walking to class - one of my classmates knew that I cut, I don't remember how he found out, and he checked my arm, and I willingly showed that it was clean. He knew better and checked my other arm and I just kind of shrugged it off.

College again during exams - I was stressed out about choosing not to take the final exam for one of my subjects where the grade was high enough, and I went kind of crazy on my arm. One of my friends saw and looked at me sadly asking what did I do to myself. I think I just replied that I didn't know, and we didn't really talk about it.

College still - I was hiding in a ledge because of some social anxiety, waiting for my classmates to leave before coming out. One of my friends saw me and smiled at me and just talked to me normally. She also knew already and I don't remember how she found out. She asked about it casually, and I think I told her I had stopped already.

Orchestra - I had gotten upset during my commute to the venue and slashed my arm and bled. My seatmate saw after our practice when the lights came on again, and she called two others after getting my permission. They all talked to me and asked about it and I felt awkward and foolish. They arranged some get together later on, and I told them I had stopped already, and they said good.

College reunion - I was crying over something else and two of my friends saw. I was embarrassed about the real reason I was crying, so I just showed them my scars and told them that I cut.

Previous work - my dad had gotten mad at me for something before we left for work. I cut and was a crying mess when I got to work. I didn't feel well enough so I told my boss I was going to the clinic. It was the day after the Christmas party, so they thought I was just tired from it. I actually wrote about this in a previous post where I told a nurse. I never did get to talk to any counsellor after though.

Current work - One of my staff saw my scars with some fairly recent cuts maybe a few days or weeks old. He was shocked and asked about it and I just completely ignored it. He got the message and didn't ask any more.

Current work also - one of my coworkers saw my arm with old scars and asked about it, but answered himself, thinking they were marks left from leaning my arm against the edge of my desk. I just said yes.

Home - I actually showed my dad my scars out of frustration during an argument. This was already after I had just stopped for real (I told him I didn't do it anymore) and before I started relapsing again four years later. This was the first time he found out, and he got really mad and shouted and called me crazy, basically reacting in a way that would make me want to cut again. Sometimes I wonder if he remembers. We never talked about it again after that, and he's never given any indication of noticing my scars, and I don't think he has noticed because he usually confronts me right away about stuff.

Home also - my younger sister saw my scars once, and I just completely pretended it was nothing. I think she was still shocked, but I just acted normally and she never brought it up again. I've tried to be more careful after that.

I was kind of surprised in retrospect about how many people I had let on, especially from college. I did want my friends to know more than my family.

StripedTapir · Sep 15, 2018, 09:26 AM

Thank you for sharing byfnvy

Take care x

Sep 15, 2018, 10:37 AM

Yes. Many many years ago after a very tough session, and I was young and stupid, I was in the hall about 50m from my therapist’s office. I thought she was in a session with another client, but she came out to use the bathroom. I was cutting with a razor blade and she caught me. It was pretty bad. It didnt stop me though at the time.

SheHulk07 · Sep 15, 2018, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripedTapir

Aw

Maybe he cares but is just upset and confused by your SI

Eh maybe. I don't believe he cares about anyone than himself anymore with how he treats me, but thats a different story.

StripedTapir · Sep 15, 2018, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Starry_Night

I thought she was in a session with another client, but she came out to use the bathroom. I was cutting with a razor blade and she caught me.

was she upset, or was she understanding?

Sep 15, 2018, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripedTapir

Has anyone ever caught you in the act of self-harming?
Or found the thing you use?
Or seen scars when you were trying to hide them?
If so, how did you explain/deal with the situation?
Did it deter you from self-harming?

I have been careless recently and nearly caused a lot of trouble, but have mostly avoided any awkward confrontation

I have been caught twice

once when I was in my room and doing it to my feet, someone walked n and saw the blood on the floor/ the bed, but at that time they didn't really ask me- they just passed it off as a small cut/ scratch that was bleeding

the other time my brother walked in to me after I said I'd be a while and never returned

he saw the blood and asked me what was happening and I'm like well... I don't know. I can't make it stop

we had to call the paromedics and they helped control the bleeding

I remember the only thought I had at the time.. I'm missing ant and dec!. I need to watch ant and dec!

didn't care about the blood litirally pouring out of me

StripedTapir · Sep 15, 2018, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raging vortex

he saw the blood and asked me what was happening and I'm like well... I don't know. I can't make it stop

we had to call the paromedics and they helped control the bleeding

I remember the only thought I had at the time.. I'm missing ant and dec!. I need to watch ant and dec!

didn't care about the blood litirally pouring out of me

Sounds scary! i'm glad you weren't seriously hurt
its nice that you were looking forward to Ant and Dec tho!

Sep 16, 2018, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripedTapir

Sounds scary! i'm glad you weren't seriously hurt
its nice that you were looking forward to Ant and Dec tho!

Possible trigger:

I wish I was hurt seriously, I really wish I was- would have braught this hell hell of a life to an end

I did enjoy ant and dec though

I used to write reviews for a website of the weekly episodes, so it was really important to me and watched them and took special notice of what was going on. was hard sometimes because of my lack of focus, but no one ever complained that I missed something or my reviews were off, so..

Sep 17, 2018, 06:05 AM

I wasn't quite caught but one time my mum found what I'd used to cut and cornered me and yelled at me for it.

I got sneakier after that, didn't stop me doing it. I did stop for a while but that was because Ebony came into my life and gave me a reason to try.

StripedTapir · Sep 17, 2018, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raging vortex

Possible trigger:

I wish I was hurt seriously, I really wish I was- would have braught this hell hell of a life to an end

I honestly have this same thought a lot

Quote:

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I used to write reviews for a website of the weekly episodes..

That sounds cool!

StripedTapir · Sep 17, 2018, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whispershadow

I wasn't quite caught but one time my mum found what I'd used to cut and cornered me and yelled at me for it.

I got sneakier after that, didn't stop me doing it. I did stop for a while but that was because Ebony came into my life and gave me a reason to try.

Thank you for sharing!

My mum has also found the thing i use but have somehow always been able to explain it away.
Seems like no one has been deterred from SI and just hide it more carefully.
It's lovely that someone gave you a reason to try!

Sep 18, 2018, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripedTapir

Thank you for sharing!

My mum has also found the thing i use but have somehow always been able to explain it away.
Seems like no one has been deterred from SI and just hide it more carefully.
It's lovely that someone gave you a reason to try!

Sadly, Ebony was the furbaby who lost her fight to survive earlier this year

StripedTapir · Sep 18, 2018, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whispershadow

Sadly, Ebony was the furbaby who lost her fight to survive earlier this year

I'm sorry for your loss!

I understand your pain as I have cats and have lost one in the past.
I hope that you can still try in her memory

itsbeenalongtime · Sep 18, 2018, 11:57 PM

Yes, It is on my face so I just pass it off as multiple skin cancer removals.

Skull&Crossbones · Sep 21, 2018, 06:43 PM

I haven't been caught during, but I do get a lot of questions/comments about old scars. I have a couple of fairly visible ones on my upper arm and I get kids asking what happened or strangers making a comment about how they used to self-harm too, completely unprovoked. I would like to not have to worry about whether it's covered or not the rest of my life, but I wish the questions/comments would stop.

StripedTapir · Sep 22, 2018, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skull&Crossbones

strangers making a comment about how they used to self-harm too, completely unprovoked.

i would never have expected that!

That is one of my biggest fears - having someone question/comment on my scars
Have you tried to get rid of/cover the scars? That seems to be the only way to stop people from asking about it

Best wishes

Skull&Crossbones · Sep 22, 2018, 05:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StripedTapir

i would never have expected that!

That is one of my biggest fears - having someone question/comment on my scars
Have you tried to get rid of/cover the scars? That seems to be the only way to stop people from asking about it

Best wishes

Most of the time, most of my scars are covered with clothes. The ones on my lower arm are surprisingly hard to see (considering those were the ones I actually needed medical attention for). It's one on my upper arm that left a prominent raised scar. I have tried to put scar cream on that and some of the others but I could never remember to do so consistently enough to make it fade too much.

I remembered another story about someone commenting...when my ex and I were first dating (I think it was the second date maybe?) he asked about the scars. I think he originally asked if it was from a cat or something, but in such a way that I knew he knew what it was actually from. So my hand was kind of forced and I had to tell him that part of my history before I think I really wanted to. I think he considered self-harm manipulative or overall he took my depression symptoms personally and couldn't STAND that he "couldn't make me happy" BECAUSE THAT'S HOW IT WORKS. Sorry, I'll go be bitter and sarcastic elsewhere.

MotherMidnight · Oct 19, 2018, 04:13 AM

I went to a therapist only because my mom caught me with fresh wounds, and at that moment I couldn't find any reason to dodge the question. My friends started to notice before my mom, but I told them it was from the pointy end of my desk & was completely accidental. I didn't realize the scar was that obvious, so I wear long sleeve a lot. Some of my closest friends got worried, but maybe were too afraid to ask about it, so they scraped the pointy end of my desk just so I wouldn't "accidentally" cut my arms again. It was kind of sweet actually, but I never got the courage to tell them what actually happened.