[Rive1976]

I had a flashback last night and I want to cut. I really dont see the harm in it. Its my body. I am not cutting deep. There are no scars. Nobody has to know but me. The thing is my family freaks and even though they dont need to know I feel bad. My T says I cant do EMDR and be cutting. I want to do it and just not tell her. She doesnt seem to care when I mention it anyway. Just says thanks for telling me. I think she doesnt really believe I cut or she must think I do it for attention. I do it because it relieves tension. I really really want to do it. I kind of wang to cut really deep this time though. Im not suicidal. My psychiatric nurse actually said yeah some people do it as long as your not suicidal like it was nothing and I agree its nothing. Why do people freak over it? I am by no means saying its healthy but at least I am not doing drugs right?

[scapegoat0001]

i agree with you Dnester, i really don't think its that big of a deal, the only person who knows about recent self harm is my T and he just accepts it and doesnt try to help me with it. Ascribes it to anxiety and tells me to reduce my anxiety without it but idk how. i hope you feel better and didnt start the New Year like I did. Heres to both of us having a better New year than last, and hope we get better help than we have been!

[Rive1976]

Thank you!

[amandalouise]

the big deal is that EMDR doesnt work if a person continues to self injury.... its kind of like if someone goes to AA then as they come out the door they pop open a can of beer. it self sabotages the program, which makes it a waste of time on the therapist and the client.

EMDR is a series of classes that a person does in therapy. The very first "class" the therapist and client talks about all the different things going on in a persons life, past and present and makes sure the client is stable and open to make the changes needed. if someone isnt willing to throw out the negative ways and use the EMDR way when they get triggered then its all a waste of time, energy and frustrating on both sides.

EMDR looks at some very upsetting and traumatic things which can activate doing self injury more instead of less if trying to do it while doing EMDR.

think of it like this think of your worst memory that causes you to self injure, now think about how the EMDR is going to make you look every closely at that memory, remember every single gross detail of that memory, make you feel panicky, scared....to the worst extreme while going through the recounting/ remembering phase of EMDR.... and you are self injuring, are you going to want to self injure more and deeper? or are you going to say no I am going to use the breathing, self talk, and other EMDR tools.

with me the first time I was going to try emdr my answer was if I was self injuring and going through EMDR I would want to self injure more and deeper and wouldnt care if I was putting my life in danger. on my therapists side he could not risk the losing of his credentials by doing a therapy technique that would make an unstable person go deeper into their traumatic past, rather than putting off emdr until later.

by the way with EMDR a therapist does know when a person is self injuring instead of doing the program way of getting rid of negative behaviors and using the EMDR tools full time. they keep records of each session and whether progress is being made with each session and if certain things are not happening then they have to stop doing EMDR.

they dont look at the cuts but the body language and behaviors during the process gives it away.

my suggestion is if you are not ready to give up the cutting then now is not the time to do EMDR. it will be a waste of your time and the therapists and your insurance which can impact your other covered mental health treatments.

[Rive1976]

Mine didnt know that I cut. I mean I did end up cutting last night but we did EMDR today and she didnt know. I told her afterward.

[Marilyn2016]

Okay, so you aren't doing hard drugs.
However, the effect of cutting does release drugs in the brain that make you feel good.

"Physiologically, endorphins are released when we are injured or stressed. Endorphins are neurotransmitters that act similarly to morphine and reduce the amount of pain we experience when we are hurt. Joggers often report experiencing a "runners high" when reaching a physically stressful period. This "high" is the physiological reaction to the release of endorphins - the masking of pain by a substance that mimics morphine. When people self-injure, the same process takes place. Endorphins are released which limit or block the amount of physical pain that's experienced. Sometimes people who intentionally hurt themselves will even say that they felt a "rush" or "high" from the act. Given the role of endorphins, this makes perfect sense."

Myths and Misconceptions of Self-Injury: Part II | Psychology Today

This is just one source, but there are plenty of books on it.

So, yeah it's a big deal if you are cutting yourself. It's dangerous, and it's not healthy. Please find help if you can. I know you have to want help, and I hope someday that you do.

Love,
Marilyn