[blackdragon]

<font color="blue"> When i SI i use scissors... And for 5 long years it has been working for me... Now since when did the feeling leave... I cut with the scissors and it didnt numb me, it didnt releive my emotional pain, it barley even helped... All i thought about was i need more, more pain, more blood.. I felt that i couldnt even cut my self right cause it didnt even help... Has anyone experienced this? is it normal? or is it just that i fail at my one and only coping skill? </font>

[SweetCrusader]

When this happened to me, my T said that it meant I was ready to move on to a new coping skill- that I was getting ready to leave si behind.

I'm not sure where you are in terms of your coping, so that's all I have to tell you right now.

Have you been working on learning other coping skills?

[blackdragon]

I know i am suppost to learn new coping skills, and talking to my friends from camp helps, but i cant dump everything on them.. it wouldnt be fair.. And since school started everytime some one looks at me and starts talking to a friend the thought "there talking about me" and when i screw up the thought "i just failed why dont i just die?" plus all the background talk makes me feel uneasy. I just cant give it up. i failed at cutting it feels like... I just dont know anymore...

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{{{{BlackDragon}}}}}}}}}}}

Do you have a therapist or a school counselor you can talk to? You can talk to us here all you want. Talking about it is a great way to cope, but maybe you need some other things too. Exercise can help. So can distracting yourself by reading a book or something, for a while, even though that is a little more like escaping than actually dealing with your life. Second thought, it depends on what you read - you might find some answers in books. What other ideas can you think of if you brainstorm? You could also brainstorm a list of people you can talk to, so that you don't have to worry about dumping it all on just a few people. I worry about that too, even though a lot of the time it turns out that they really don't mind. Take your cues from how they react to your venting. If they listen to you and tell you that they are available for you to talk to, believe them. If someone keeps changing the subject or figits or something, then maybe they need a break. You can kind-of tell whether they are really listening or not.

You haven't failed at anything. I promise. Getting over this takes some time. You are making progress in your journey, and this sounds like a step forward to me.

[SweetCrusader]

Sorry I have taken so long to get back to you!

I echo everything Rapunzel said. It takes time to learn other ways of dealing. And it's a trial-and-error process for sure. There are a LOT of options out there you can try.

I don't think you failed at anything. I'm sorry that you feel that way. (((hugs))) <-- if ok

Angela