[jagster]

Hi guys, i had to come here cause im a little happy about something. I havent self injured in a full week now. I cant really say that im proud of myself, but im giving myself a tiny pat on the back for making it thru. This may seem kinda funny to you all, but my self injury issues are pretty bad.

Jag

[Leslie]

(((((((((((((((((((((((jagster))))))))))))))))))))

WOW I am proud of you and thank you for sharing that news with us. This is soooooooo wonderful.

Your friend,
Leslie

[Rapunzel]

Good for you, Jag!

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>

[Zenobia]

Not funny at all, dear Jag. Good on you. Awesome. I needed the good news, thanks so much.
Carrie

<font color=blue>If you have two dollars, spend one on bread and the other on flowers. The bread will feed your body and the flowers will feed your soul."--Arabic Saying

[jagster]

Thanks you guys

[fgh]

Hi. i was wondering if you can tell me what kept you from it this last week? Did you do something else like a distraction or just stopped yourself or what? i haven't si'd in a really long time but whenever i get time i think about it a lot. It doesn't do anything for the others buthurt, but that cut/burn takes my pain away my emotional pain and the real pain tells me i am real. When i cut no one else is around and i like it that way, so i get to keep time. But i'm thinking about it. nona

[SweetCrusader]

WAHOOO!!!! That is really something. Most of us in this forum really do understand what an accomplishment that can be. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

Angela

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[SweetCrusader]

Nona,

I have a few ideas for you that maybe would help you. Do you have a journal or a notebook you can write in? Maybe you could write down your feelings or draw pictures, and write all about why you want to hurt your body. Sometimes even just writing how MUCH you want to hurt the body helps make it easier not to.

Another thing you could try is talking to someone about it. Let them know you don't feel very safe, and talk about whatever is upsetting you. Maybe talking to someone else instead of hurting yourself would help. Is there someone you can talk to?

Also, you could write a list of ANY reason you can think of NOT to hurt yourself. It is important to remember that hurting your body can scare/hurt the others, too. If you can't quit right away, I'm sure they will understand- so don't feel mad at yourself for it. It's just how you deal with your feelings, and it sounds like you are trying your best. As you learn more ways to deal with your feelings, it will get easier. All of us in the self-injury forum understand how hard it is to cope without hurting ourselves, and how much it can help sometimes to hurt ourselves. I have been there, too. I hurt myself sometimes, too.

Also, have you ever thought about talking to your therapist about it?

I hope this helps!!! (((hugs)))) <-- only if you want hugs, of course!

Angela

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[fgh]

yeah all that stuff. i have even done it in the therapist's office. He almost had to call rescue but got it to stop on his own. i didn't mean for that to happen. we still have the scars for that one for sure. i used a small knife. razor blades are sissy to me because they heal so easily and only give a slight stinging.

some of what i've used to not do this is just not take time. i've journaled, have a stack of those lying around for whoever to read is not fun but there's noone around anyway. and i've used other tricks i learned like using red markers instead or just imagining it all.

why take time at all? i just don't do time hardly at all because i'm too depressed to. noone wants me to be here (alive.) i used to try and see the therapist and sent hundreds of pages of collages with my feelings but nothing ever changed except me not getting time and not cutting. The rest in the circles don't care about me just as long as i don't cut on a special day for them or do so where noone can see. big deal.

i guess jj has told you about me (the brat) i don't have a name but tried to go by no name and had to shorten it to nona to make it easier for the therapist. like i care? Call me anything, everyone else does and i don't use capitals when i refer to myself because i'm not important enough to. it's just "nona" sounds like a girls name.

so do you do other stuff too or is si'ing your only job? i mean, within your circles or whatever you call them, system? jj is right about all the stuff going on with the adults and no time for the rest of the circles and anyone that isn't an adult. they can have it. why should i take time just to deal with adult stuff?

i'd rather just read here. posting doesn't do much for me. nona

[SweetCrusader]

hi nona,

yes jj did mention you, but only said that there was someone in your circle who didn't want to have a name, so she went by no name and then shortened it to nona. she also said that you are her friend, and you help her out. i think jj cares about you. i already knew about you, though, because i read your other post and responded to it. maybe i shouldn't have asked jj to talk to you, but i just wanted you to know that you can talk here, too, because we're all here to help in this forum. and we do know what it's like to want to hurt your body, and how hard it is to stop.

here are some other things to think about. if you don't feel safe about it, you definitely do not have to answer these questions here. just think about them in your mind. i don't want to make you uncomfortable by asking a lot of questions. and i also want you to try to be safe, and not si anymore. so please be careful when you read this, and think about it, ok?

i can understand your decision to not take time, so that you don't end up hurting the body. maybe it is the best solution there is, for now. i don't know.

have you ever thought about why it is that you si? sometimes that helps to work through it. i know si is your job in your circle, but do you understand WHY it's your job? are you trying to protect yourself and the others from hard feelings, or stop someone from talking about painful things? if not, what is your goal? it might take some thinking for you to be able to answer that. you might not have thought about it before. i know with my own si, sometimes i have a hard time understanding why i do it. there is a lot that goes into it. if you do figure out some of this stuff, and you haven't already, maybe you could write a note to your T about what you've decided and he can help some more then.

yes, i do other things, not just si. do you have any other jobs? i'm not in a circle or system myself, i'm alone inside. so i do everything.

i understand if you don't want to post. i just asked jj to talk to you because i wanted you to know that you are invited and welcome to post, if you do ever want to. i hope that reading here helps you out.

take care, ok?
Angela