Speaking of telling.. Tomorrow I go to see my new Therapist. I've only seen her a few times, so Im not sure if we should get into the self-injury. I don't want her to think im one of those ppl with lots of problems and then secretly hate to see me. How long did some of u all wait b4 telling about self injury?

[SweetCrusader]

i told in the first session, but only because she asked. i was wearing long sleeves in the summer. didn't realize that was an obvious type to a psychologist, mainly because i didn't realize a lot of people cut.

i think you should tell

[ktp]

I agree. Honesty is the best policy.

Good luck!
Kimberly.

[dalila]

I was working with my therapist with my dd. She had agreed to help me if I got into trouble with trying to write my story. I thought if I once wrote it all out I would be able to move on from there. Instead I was triggering myself and getting worse and worse off. Eventually she had me eased into coming and getting therapy for myself cos as she insists I am worth it. I didn't realize how bad off I was or how close to the edge of sanity I had gotten. I want to deal with this s$!t and move on.

[Zenobia]

My first 2 therapist I didn't ever tell. My 3rd one I had a complete break down a week after starting to see him and ended up in the hospital with the picture of an eye carved in my hand so he knew right off. We didn't really get into talking much about it. My newest one I told right away. I mentioned it in the run down of my history and she keeps tabs on it as a regular part of our sessions because it is a good indicator of the areas I need to work on. If something makes me want to self injure then it is something that is still making me feel trapped and unsafe so it is something that needs immediate attetion. The self injury is a good compass to follow when deciding what needs to be worked on first. She is still working on getting me comfortable with talking about it, feeling safe in mentioning it. But when it does comes up she assures me that it is a habit I am getting over and then focuses on the cause of the need to self injure.
Carrie

Thanks all. I guess its so much more complicated than whether to tell or not. You have to feel safe. I dont feel that way with my new T and thats the problem She doesnt have sensativities to listen to me or to stop telling many of her endless stories. I think its time for me to find another one. Ugh.. I never truely feel like she is really listening to me, its like she's just listening enough to think of another one of her stories. Well... As you can see.. I didnt tell. but I think i sorta made the best choice.

[Rapunzel]

Esther,

Sometimes it does take some time to build trust and be able to feel safe telling your T certain things, and if trust is the issue you need to work on, then you don't want to rush that faster than you can handle. But I think that you and your T should be clear on that trust is a primary thing that you are working on if that is the case, so I would suggest talking to her about that. Also, if trust is an issue, then one of the things that can help you to build trust is if you know a few things about your T, so that could be why she tells so many stories. However, you need to let her know if something is not working for you, or if you don't feel like she is listening well enough. Then maybe she can adapt and give you what you need. If she can't, then you may need to find a different T. Talk to her about it first though, and see if maybe the problems are part of the process of establish trust or something that she can change, or something that you can work on, or if there really is some incompatibility.

You are right about needing to feel safe, but you also need to be working on feeling safe enough to open up to your T. She can help you a lot more when you are open and honest with her.

(((((((hugs))))))))) if you want them

Well.. I left an email with my new T telling her how i havent felt comfortable or able to open up asking her what she thinks we should do. We will see what happens. In the meantime, I left a voicemail with my old therapist telling her that I started cutting again (WHAT a horrible voicemail to get!) and that I was wondering if there was some way i could see her agin (the town is 3.5 hours away so maybe i could drive there once a month).
Who knows what happens.

Just got an email from my old T back. She didnt respond. She just gave me a referral. I guess she felt it too. UGHHHHHH I feel like no one wants me.

[Rapunzel]

{{{{{{{{Esther}}}}}}}}}}}

You are always wanted and appreciated here.

[SweetCrusader]

oh, sweetie

*hugs* if you want them

I am guessing she probably just gave you a referral because it sounded like you two weren't clicking. That's not a reflection on you. I can understand why you would feel that way. But honestly and truly, I don't think that's what the issue here is. I think she was just responding to your feeling that you weren't connecting.

I sure do hope the old T gets back with you ASAP, and that you can find another new T that will be better suited to you personally.

Keep us posted.

Angela

Good news sorta. My old T called me back .. b/c i left a message telling her about starting back cutting. She has offered to do phone counseling if i cant travel back to see her. I am so relieved to have someone in my corner

[SweetCrusader]

That is good news!!

I think it would be best for you to get with her in person, but I do know how hard that is. I just moved 3.5 hours away from my T, too. So now I'm going to the university counseling center- and it's not near as helpful as she is.

Anyway, I am glad to hear she's there for you!!!!!