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#1
Dec 08, 2004, 04:07 AM
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Last night when I got home I just couldn't stop crying. All I did was look at my Xmas tree and I lost it. I think it's because my mom bought my tree, my decorations, and helped me out so much. This is my first year without her around. She and my aunt died this past year. They were both so young. I really wanted to just start slashing my wrists, but fought off the urge. It was like, "I just need a little so I can feel better." I don't want to feel all this pain anymore. I just don't want to go through with the holidays. I want to just crawl into a dark hole and stay there.
I really don't know what to do anymore. I want out of all this pain. I've had enough.
__________________
"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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#2
Dec 08, 2004, 04:57 AM
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It's ok to cry, let that be your outlet. If it comes like a flood, let it out. You are entitled to your pain and deserving of release, but please don't hurt your self to acheive it. I'm glad that you fought the urge to harm your self, and expressed your feelings here. Christmas is a really hard time for a lot of people, missing family, feeling lonely, I know some people on this site understand well. One day that tree will be a reminder of love more than loss, and you will smile when you see it. Your profile says you are a writer... why not let some things out by writing, post here or in creative corner about your mom and aunt, if you can. Tell us what made your mom the special person she was, and the things you're missing about her right now. Let us be an outlet too, that's what we're all here for. Please share with us, if you can.
"Shared pain lessened, shared joy increased." If it's ok, I'm sending you a BIG hug. Stay safe, we care about you. 'Harm NONE, do what thou wilt'. That includes you, don't forget that.
__________________
yesterdaytodaytomorrow |
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#3
Dec 08, 2004, 09:12 AM
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Hey it's ok to be upset hun, the holidays are really hard especially the first one after you've lost loved ones *hugs*
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#4
Dec 08, 2004, 11:20 AM
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((((((Lexi)))))))))
 I am sorry for your loss
__________________
 Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name ~Alanis Morissette |
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#5
Dec 08, 2004, 11:29 AM
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{{{{{{{{{{{lexicon}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Grief sucks but it is natural. Take care dear one, you are in my thoughts.
Carrie |
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#6
Dec 08, 2004, 11:34 AM
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You're in my thoughts hun ((((((((((((((((((((Lex))))))))))))))))))))
__________________
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