grrrr help! MT Un spoiled

I am so frustrated depressed and alone. I just si'd waiting for Doc John to answer impossible questions on the chat. I am having a very hard time with my memories and emotions. I feel like I have noone to turn to. I dont know what to do, I am so low right now and feel like I have noone to turn to. So instead I SI and drink. I dont know how to handle memories, how to bring myself to ask for help.... I just need someone to know everything and to hold my habd through everything! I dont know how to ask for help finding a therapist let alone tell a complete stranger that I have a hx sa si alcohol abuse as well as a horrible previous experience with a pdoc. I dont know how to say any of this out loud. I feel completely helpless, I also now have an injury that prevents me from working. I have a boyfriend, but I just cant talk about all of this outloud. I feel so alone and helpless. I dont know what to do!

=( I am sorry you feel so bad right now!!!
It looks like you did just "say it out loud" - it is out, and we are reading it, so that is a step forward! You know there are T resources here online? Can you print your post, make and appointment and show what you typed?
Starting is the biggest hurdle... from there, things can be managed.
Hoping you can find a T and make an appointment!!!!
I support you!
Kiya

(((((((((((((((glimmer)))))))))))))))))))))))

Does your boyfriend know how much you want and need help right now? Asking him for help in finding a T and taking you to your first appt would be a good idea. You can do that you know, it doesn't make you weak.

If you can't talk out loud, that's okay too. It takes time to speak things out loud that have happened to us, stuff that is a part of who we are, for better or for worse. You could always write it out in the beginning, to "introduce" yourself, even by posting here, ok?