[jetblackaura]

At school, i help out with a younger class, and well one of the guys is partially sighted, so i mainly help him by reading out things to him in french, but there is also a boy with limited english, as he has just moved here from China.

But, there is also a girl in the class who i suspect has bad anxiety problems, and possibly other things too, but i don't know because i've never been told, i can only guess from her actions etc.

Anyway last week i was put to work with her, which was fine. But whilst the teacher was speaking I noticed she kept playing with the sleeve of her jumper and she pulled it up a couple of times and i'm sure i saw little cuts/scratches on her wrist and arm, it was dark so i couldnt see properly wihtout staring, but i felt really akward after, really wanting to say something and let her know that i know what she's feeling and that she could speak to me or whatever but i didnt want to incase i was either totally wrong or im sure it would be a breach of some kind of school policy or something.

But i feel really bad for her and i don't know if i should say anything to the school or the teacher, because i know i wouldnt like that, but i'm too scared to say something to her. I was thinking, "God, she's only 13!" but then i thought i was 14 when i started to cut and people start alot younger than that, and it really disheartened me.

Any ideas on what i should do?

[hopestheory]

hmm i know i was 14 when i started cutting and have been in recovery for about 2 years now. i also know that when i was that age i would have loved for soemone to tell me it was ok and just have someone other than a family member to talk to. if you suspect there is a problem and i would say that that is a serious one at that, you might want to approach it slowly and build up trust and just talk to her. im not a professional but i know that that is what i needed at that age.

[jetblackaura]

Thanks, i will see what happens tomorrow, i would really love to be there for her but i know that it wouldnt be possible all the time, and that i might not have the right things to say to her.

[hopestheory]

your welcome keep me posted on what happens!

[SweetCrusader]

I don't know whether or not you should tell the school about it. I think that would depend on what their potential reaction would be and how she would feel about it. It could have some serious consequences.

If it were me, I would just make an effort to befriend her and not bring up the cutting thing in the beginning- just talk to her about her life, ya know? And eventually the cutting thing might come out. Who knows, maybe she would tell on her own?

[vulnerome]

I think you ought to speak to her. Remembering that she may be very nervous & secretive about the whole thing, it could be good if you could nonchalantly allow some for your scars to come into her view.
I like SweetCrusaders idea enormously, but with either approach my worry would be that she, in coming to admire and trust you, might think that it was more than ok to proceed.

[vulnerome]

As for telling the school, I do hate to put it like this, but regarding your interests, if it is school policy (or state policy) that somebody be informed, you would be wise to comply. I imagine you could find somebody who would allow you to proceed & who would be supportive if you needed it.

[SpazKatt]

I'm thinking that you build your friendship
and gain her trust and then bring up the subject about it, a friend did this with me, it was a really hard talk, but I appreciated it.

[jetblackaura]

Thanks guys. I'm really nervous about going to the class today.

I don't want to influence her really, incase, as vulnerome said, she thinks it's ok to cut or si in anyway.

I will speak to her today and hope that she starts to trust me because as i've said i've only worked with her like once.

I feel so sorry for her.

[Zenobia]

Sometimes people will come into the store I work at with obvious self inflicted injurys and I want so badly to say something. You know, just a "I know how you are feeling" sort of thing but I never do.
carrie

[jetblackaura]

yeah...that's kinda what i feel like doing...i just can't though..it seems like it would be wrong...i dont knwo why

[Zenobia]

Maybe it is because we know just how private SI can be. How hard we try to keep it hidden and how difficult it would be if someone we cared about pointed it out to us. So saying something about their self injury crosses a line we don't want to have someone cross when it comes to us. I think it is respect for the other person's feelings. On the other hand we also know just how difficult it is to be a self injurer coping with her problem alone. We are torn between two opposites and there is no real way to reconcile the two. Or is there?
Carrie