[(JD)]

How I feel you all of you here. (AND for others who cope in similar, detrimental ways..)

When we do something like SI, it's a way of "coping."

There's a lot involved in why, and I know the feelings are strong and it's really, really tough to quit...

For ANY coping mechanism we have that is NOT good for us, we must EXCHANGE another, good coping mechanism for it . (or at least a better one.)

Just trying to go "cold turkey" in quitting a working coping strategy isn't enough. We have to replace the bad with something ... and if it's good, that's best.

One thing that I know has helped others who SI, specifically, is to use a red marker instead. To help with the anger, you can "apply" it angrily in streaks....and so you "feel" it... and it's your choice as to whether you use a permanent type marker or one that washes off sooner ( the latter not being serious enough?).

I've seen patients also move over to black markers... representing other feelings, prior to being able to quit coping this way.

Maybe this will work for some of you.... I hope you can discuss other ways, with your T, of replacing the negative coping mechanism with something else... it takes a long time to get to the root of why, and if you can use a different method in the meantime... well ?

[SweetCrusader]

I personally feel that replacement behaviors, by themselves, are not likely to really make the necessary changes. I know this is true for me. SI tends to develop in people with a lot of trauma in their background, and that stuff has to be dealt with before the replacement behaviors will do any good.

I see that you're offering help and advice that has helped some people, and that's good. I just think replacement behaviors alone are a bad idea.

NEXT PART ***TRIGGERING*****- PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION OR NOT AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

I know that for me, replacement behaviors that involve any kind of action taken toward my body tend to blow up in my face and have the opposite effect from what I was hoping for- no matter how well-intentioned I am when I begin.

One time, I tried writing words expressing my feelings on my arms. I ended up injuring myself with the pen I was writing with. Another time I tried a less sharp object, hoping to just pull up a layer of skin rather than cut myself open. I ended tracing and retracing the same line until I caused a cut deeper than I would have if I would have just let myself use a razor.

*************************Triggering part over now*******************


So while Sky's idea might work for some, I caution everyone to really think it through and also don't try to use replacement behaviors ALONE. I think it's best to talk about this stuff with your T while deciding what you're going to do to get past this. (Of course it is hypocritical of me to say, because I have generally kept talk about si to a minimum in my own therapy- but honestly, I probably should have talked about it more).

Just some thoughts

[(JD)]

well that was the basic intent... MAKE your T assist you wil some alternate ways to cope. What (here in SI) is coping. I't's just another way to cope and it's a bad way, you all know and say this: The suggestions I made are just that, to show you there are other coping ways....

if some of you don't even discuss this with your T, wow that "sounds" like whatever has control over your SI ing doen's want you to heal.....

[SweetCrusader]

All VERY good points, Sky

[SpazKatt]

I can't do the red marker thing... makes me actually want to cut MORE! anywho my coping is by coming here and helping others and talking and chat!

[SweetCrusader]

Same here, Katt. The red marker thing triggers the "wanna see blood" response

[SpazKatt]

YES exactly!!!

[dalila]

<font color="green"> I have used the red marker once -- I chose to use the not permanent kind. After covering most of my arms and legs, I stepped into the shower. Since I am not one who has done a lot of cutting and seeing the flow of blood was a major draw watching the marker run with the water was almost as good as real blood. My therapist thought I was very creative LOL not really I borrowed that ideal. But for one night it was enough. Every night that I manage to avoid cutting is one more night of building the strength to stop; learning stategies to cope in new ways; finding more reasons to continue to keep my skin intact.

[SweetCrusader]

Gosh, dalila, if I had done that, I know I would've si'd after.

But if it works for you, that's marvelous!

[dalila]

Haven't tried it again, and will likely need something soon cos I am a mess at the moment. sigh. Too much going on in my life to go into here. Just coping as best as I can. I keep telling those who I can trust so far I have kept my skin intact -- but is a close thing. My poor fingernails are about down to the quick, but file the sharpness away regularly to avoid that issue. Why did I ever start this? Oh yeah, cos at 12 I didn't have any other ways to cope. ugh.