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#1
Dec 18, 2008, 10:45 AM
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aside from the obvious, no money, working, but checks are gone the minute i get them, no insurance, i was brought to the er after a harrowing drive home 4.5 hours tuesday. blood sugars dropped. to the 20's which is a step away from coma.
my boss could care less....just more worried on whether or not i will be at work. Im just having a meltdown. it dont feel like christmas. It doesnt feel like anything. and today im having urges. me |
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#2
Dec 18, 2008, 10:50 AM
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  I know how it feels like everything is crashing on you, but you can beat these urges. You've done it before. I know you can. I know it. Be your own strength and use our strength too, because together we are stronger than any urge!!
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#3
Dec 18, 2008, 10:53 AM
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Thanks my friend....im certainly trying.
but sitting at this job. (god how i wish i was rich) is killing me today. I want to walk.......I know i can get better. but the economy is whats keeping me here. me |
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#4
Dec 18, 2008, 11:00 AM
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((C))) i notice this connection more clearly now... you hurt and you want to hurt yourself.. its not punishment, cause you arent horrible and you havent harmed others intentionally.. it leaves you with .... questions then...
since we know you arent a horrible person, we would want you to feel kindness towards self and as always you do, others... so what could happen to improve this situation? i know you search and search for jobs and answers and you are sincere about it... what you do is compromise your wants some... ugh compromise, what an ugly word... or is it? how about 'adjustment'? there are several credit counseling centers available to help manage your financial crisis... if it is slipping beyond your control there are budgeting coaches available... i know all this costs money and how do you pay when you are broke? that is the time we make payment with our inner spirit.. this 'never give up' attitude pushes us to the limits... human endurance is mighty capable... sitting with you, understanding, and making an offer of sharing this pain with you because i have been there myself.... only i self harmed in different ways i thought... i think its similar tho... always sending healing vibes your way... |
 cantstopcrying
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#5
Dec 18, 2008, 11:07 AM
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 . I'm sorry that your boss seems to not care. I'm glad you are ok now! What is driving those urges?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Dec 18, 2008, 11:21 AM
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Lets sit together Colleen, Im having a bad day too full of urges -
__________________
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http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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#7
Dec 18, 2008, 11:24 AM
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Thanks NWTR, sannah, CSC, Purple.
You guys are great. Just urges from all the "little things" that are compacting to big things quick. Trying to spend more time here. as my job is working on my last nerve. So you will see me off and on today. then the whole er visit thing......I think im financially finished. and its all causing wierd urges. Its been well over a year since i have. so im trying desparately. Thanks all. back in a bit. C |
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#8
Dec 18, 2008, 12:00 PM
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What about your job is bothering you? You'll pull through this financial stuff Colleen
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#9
Dec 18, 2008, 12:49 PM
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Well. I work in tech support. I fix computers. when i got this job. (new company, the sole employee right here!)
I was promised, a raise, benefits, he would pay for my cell (which is MINE and i use for work) um thats about it. I work 10-12 hour days, use my own cell and computer. and no raise, no benefits, no paying of my cellphone (but a wonderful time discussing how much my phone sucks when he tries to call) and me carting around people on the campus to which i work. Ive become a doormat and hate it. I usually have the freakin (insert body part here) to say something. but im so afraid of no money at all that i wont speak my peace. guess its my own fault. thanks for the help guys. |
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#10
Dec 18, 2008, 01:28 PM
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Colleen, I'm sorry, but like you said now might not be the time to make demands? Making the demands is what gets you what you want (with the "or else I'm leaving " talk to back it up)..... Can you come to some sort of acceptance of this for the time being for your peace of mind?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#11
Dec 18, 2008, 02:51 PM
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Thats the thing. I think im going to have to "keep my mouth SHUT" until the economy is better. A job is better than NO job.
I am sure I will get through this. Well just have to wait and see. I will talk to him in good time. thank you all for your replies. just trying to work things out. Colleen |
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#12
Dec 18, 2008, 03:12 PM
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But actually it never hurts to ask for what you want?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#13
Dec 18, 2008, 08:27 PM
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((C))) still wondering about you, hope you're doing ok enough still? let us know, you help us all so much i know we care for you... maybe i can give you some ideas about the debt management situation in private...
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#14
Dec 18, 2008, 11:46 PM
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(((((((((((((Colleen)))))))))))))
Just seeing this now... I'm here.. Hang in there friend.... this too shall pass. xo
__________________
The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#15
Dec 19, 2008, 10:49 AM
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How is going today with the urges?
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#16
Dec 19, 2008, 11:12 AM
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Im doing better. still just down and out about finances.
Trying to come up with ways to make extra this season. just not working to my advantage. ((NWTR)) thanks buddy, ((jac)) you know you are awesome ((sannah)) thanks for making me spill it out. You guys are awesome. with friends like you i imagine to be feeling better soon. ((csc)) didnt forget you either! 
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#17
Dec 19, 2008, 12:00 PM
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My boss "conveniently" didnt call in payroll and went out of town.
Guess whos not getting paid for a while....and guess who will be leaving work...... ME |
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#18
Dec 19, 2008, 12:17 PM
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(((((((((((((((Colleen)))))))))))))))))))
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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#19
Dec 19, 2008, 12:55 PM
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(((((((((((((((((( Colleen ))))))))))))))))))
 
__________________
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#20
Dec 19, 2008, 02:16 PM
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thanks purple, thanks fuzzy
You guys are awesome. this unfortunately will set me back in the negative by 200. i just cant help it. im seriously depressed. and im leaving work. Colleen |
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#21
Dec 19, 2008, 03:58 PM
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((((((((((((((((Colleen)))))))))))))))))
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://purplebutterfly.psychcentral.net/ |
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#22
Dec 19, 2008, 11:26 PM
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(((((((((((Colleen)))))))))))))
__________________
The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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#23
Dec 20, 2008, 08:06 PM
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Can you look for a new job?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#24
Dec 21, 2008, 12:30 PM
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Colleen)))))))))))))))))))))))) It is not a good sign when payroll doesn't come. I am so sorry. Has this ever happened before?
BB
__________________
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#25
Dec 21, 2008, 09:33 PM
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Nope cant say my payroll has been screwed up before.
I just dont know what i am going to do. but i think you all for your replies, jac, purple, sannah BB. its much appreciated. will let you know what happens this week Colleen
__________________
Tomorrow always has the potential to be better than today. lets pretend its tomorrow...ok? |
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