Damn contract with my T. I called him up about three weeks ago, and asked him to make a verbal contract with me because I trust him a whole lot.

I used to get annoyed at myself for stopping for someone else, but I realized that in order to stop the behavior, it doesn't really matter who the hell you are stopping for, as long as you're stopping. I figured that, in time, I will stop for myself.

However, I have spent many nights thinking, "Why the **** did I make this promise?"

Sometimes the emotional pain is too much to sit with and it would just be so much easier to injure, rather than sit with the pain.

[deliquesce]

(((pinksoil)))

you did a brave thing, making a contract with your T. i'm proud of you for still honouring it, too.

from my experience, every day/minute/hour/whatever that you go without self injury, is another day/minute/hour that will become easier to do so in the future. kind of like, the hardest part is the initial stopping... after 2 weeks it's a bit easier, after 2 months it's easier still......

would you like to talk about what's causing you pain at the moment? i'm hear to listen, if you'd like to. actually, i'm hear to listen to anything you'd want to say.

xo deli

[Christina86]

(((((((((((pinksoil))))))))))))))

Contracts suck. If it helps any, I know how you feel... I made a contract with a good friend. Worse is that it's not even just verbal. Oh, and he knows me well enough - that there aren't any loopholes allowed.

I'm glad you're reaching out for help. I stopped initially for this same friend, and then relapsed a few months later (not saying this is going to happen to you!). But it was a good lesson, to learn I could actually stop if I put in a *LOT* of effort. Takes some practice to get to stopping for yourself though ... especially if you feel worthless etc., to begin with!

How long do you have to "last" with this contract? Until you see him next or?

Keep strong. Thinking of you.

[x_BabyG_x]

Im in the same situation. I think its a powerful method because you dnt want to let that person down, and its like someone else is in control of your urges, for once. I always get the 'why did I start this?' all the time, but thats just part of the addiction speaking I think. It blinds us.
It doesnt matter if you do it for someone else, because I think in time, when It does get easier, youll find you agreed for yourself

babyg x

[Cthomas]

It is an addiction. stopping is stopping regardless of the reason. But you have to go deep in order to see why you are hurting yourself. There are always urges for me, geez daily. i just realized that hurting me has already happened. and regardless of how i feel. I REFUSE to let them, the feelings, or anybody win by me cutting myself. (its not easy....)

But I consider it the challenge to get past those who have already scarred me. I think im worth it. I think all of us are worth it.

No more hurt!!!!!!

Colleen