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#1
Jul 10, 2003, 08:27 PM
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its weird... i dont feel like i am very down at all... but i have been remembering a lot of things lately, and i keep on having the urge to cut... i'm not really upset, so i don't.... but the urge is still there, and its confusing.... i don't get it at all. Any insight, comments, questions... anything would be good. (but i'm leaving tonight with my boyfriend to his and his parents summer place a few towns away, so i probably wont be on for a few days... at most till monday)
~Julie "Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..." ~Gustav Havel - existentialist
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"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..." ~Gustav Havel - existentialist |
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#2
Jul 10, 2003, 09:35 PM
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That's the way I was last week! I was agitated and irritated at DH, and being triggered by some of the things he said and did (he was complaining about not having enough money when we were better off than most weeks - he wanted to buy some stuff for his hobby - and he was also hitting himself on the head - in a benign way but still triggering to me). I guess I was also frustrated about being stalled right now on my intention to go to graduate school. DH made me turn in an application - I was trying to sabotage myself by not getting it in. I'm apparently not limited to hurting myself physically. So, do you have anything going on that is triggering? Are you stressed about going on the trip with your boyfriend, maybe? Or something else?
<font color=purple>"You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try."</font color=purple>
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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#3
Jul 10, 2003, 09:49 PM
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turns out im not going after all. (majorly GRRRRRR!) cuz his mom changed his mind about taking me... and he spent our 5 month anniversery (today) at a friends house... (im so damn frustrated right now) but anyways... i've been talking a lot about an ex lately... one who was abusive... that would probably be the trigger i would assume... but now i'm feeling just down now. cuz i was feeling all restless all day, and my bags were waiting at the door all day for my boyfriend to call as to when he was going to pick me up... and now i'm not going, and i wont see him for a few days and i feel like i need him now...
 grr, well enough of my babbling.~julie "Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..." ~Gustav Havel - existentialist
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"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..." ~Gustav Havel - existentialist |
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#4
Jul 10, 2003, 11:04 PM
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I read a very interesting article about cutting being addicting because it triggers some pain killer chemical in the brain. I am far from smart but it made alot of sense to me. I get the urge when I am sad,mad, bored, over excited or anxious. Controlling is very difficult for me without meds and excercise.
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#5
Jul 11, 2003, 10:04 AM
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I get the urge when I am bored and waiting. It starts playing on my mind as something to do to release the stress of just not being able to do anything because I am waiting for something to happen. I hate to admit that because it seems like a poor excuse.
Carrie <font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos |
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#6
Jul 11, 2003, 10:29 PM
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Carrie, thats also kinda how it feel for me now... and for the last couple of days i haven't really cut i've just kinda... made a few little scratches that didn't even really bleed... i dunno... its like, i dont see the point in stopping myself
"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..." ~Gustav Havel - existentialist
__________________
"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..." ~Gustav Havel - existentialist |
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#7
Jul 12, 2003, 05:48 PM
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I guess those moments are the moments that we should be practicing all those other wonderful coping methods that we are not all that good at. But when I am bored it is like being severely depressed. I just can't seem to get myself to do anything constructive. Video games can sometimes get me out of it. TV does not.
Carrie <font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos |
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