Going back to the habit

Hey, so I was on a long distance relationship for about a year. This guy was not only my boyfriend but my best friend. At first, it was all amazing, however, as time went on, I stopped going out with friends and my mom started to not like him because we would spend all day talking on the computer. I would see him for about two weeks every 2 months. (in person). Eventually, I started to injure myself. I never told my mother until one day that she saw how I would push my nails into my knees or fingers. She took me to a physiologist and she diagnosed me with severe depression and anxiety. She recommended I moved with my father (in another country). This would give me a new view on everything. So I did, and when I got there I realized how tied down I was with my relationship, so I broke up with him and started seeing another guy. We quickly broke up after I realized that I really wasn't interested. With this, I decided to move back with my mom. Recently, my boyfriend of long distance told me he misses me and wants me back. I really want him back. However, Im not sure of what to do. The thought of him makes me cry and I feel myself going back to my previous depression. I get anxious all day long, and can't seem to be interested in what I usually do. My school work isn't as good, my guitar is just abandoned... etc. I can not talk to my mother about this because she would be really mad and think I am making it up, and my father said the same. Yesterday, I told my ex how I felt about him and how I missed him and he said we should try it out when I am able to go to college. I am almost 18 and I am deathly scared of the future. I don't know what decisions to take. I realize that talking to him brings me back to depression, yet I don't see myself with anyone. However, a bit ago I discovered he has a girlfriend. I asked him and he said he didn't tell me because he was worried of how I would react. I am currently really depressed and extremely anxious and paranoid. I need advice on what I should do about him and my life. I have the opportunity of moving back with my father. With him I am more free and he listens to me. However, as much as it bothers me that my mother doesn't take me seriously, I can't see myself without her. Because of all this I have begun injuring myself without noticing. I press my fingernails into my skin all the time and i bite my cheeks. I need to get control of not only myself but my decisions. How can I do this though?

(((((((((((((tania_f))))))))))))))) Well, first off - are you seeing a therapist at all? You can bounce ideas off of them to help you out.

If the guy makes you depressed and is lying to you and already has a girlfriend - try to forget him. You deserve better than that, even if you want to be in a relationship.

Parents rarely seem to fully understand what we go through as younger people. It's unfortunately pretty common of a problem.

I know the future is scary - but hang onto what you enjoy doing -- and perhaps talk to your doctor about getting on some antidepressants?