I GIVE UP......... TRIGGER

well i cut my self 8 times last nite.. why cause some one vandlized my car. they put bread dough on my car and it got into everything.. it got into the windsheild wiper fluid sprayer clogging them and underneath the windsheild rubber holders and plus it took a hour to clean off.. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS. WHAT is it enough that i quit eating school lunches so no one thinks im a pig, is it enough that i odnt talk speak or even go out of my way to get out of yours.. WHAT DID I DO? i hate my life right now.. im so pist i could just scream... Really i know im fat and still u cant leave me alone.. EVERYONE AT SCHOOL bullies me physically and mentally 8 hrs a day.. Cant they leave me alone for at least 6 hrs after school and on weekends is that too much to ask for? IS IT... If any of you think im over reacting then put bread dough on ur cars and let it bake for 3 hrs in the sun and scrap the crap off.. YOU BE PIST TOO.. I seriously want to drop out.. i know its my senior year and soon it will be over BUT WILL IT? I have been bullied for 11 years of my live bullied beatened and harrassed sexually and mentally for every ****en minnute of it... EVEN ON THE BUS 3 seats back i been kicked and does anyone do anything NO WAY. Is it so hard to resist making me feel like im the biggest loser of the year on the weekends too... I Hate my life i seriously do.. Why cause of people... Im freaken tired of this.. before i oculd handle it, now im not even strong enough to keep my head up when someone calls me four eyes..... or something so lame.. I cant keep fighting... Im sick of this world, im sick of this life i haft to lead... Im sick of it.. JUST SICK... AND NO ONE CARES IN MY SCHOOL NO ONE.. I cried when i took a english test cause i was so busy worring the nite before to even study. i dont even know how to study.. I dont.. Does the teacher ask why i was tearing up, NO does she ask why i kept drawing on my paper NO, does she even ask why i havent answered any questions NO. Does she even see the abuse i get IN HER CLASS ROOM NO. One day im going to walk into her class with my wrist slit and i bet she wouldnt even ask why. On the test she just said quit drawing and work on ur test.. I couldnt even pass a english test.. and everyone doesnt even care.... SO WE WILL VANDLIZE K**** CAR AND MAKE HER CRY, EXTRA BONUS IF SHE CUTS HER SELF, AND JACK POT IF SHE DIES. DO THEY WANT ME TO DIE? YES.. on the bus i ask the kid why he kept kicking me he said CAUSE I WANT U TO DIE.. i remember vividly in 2nd grade asking him that question.. DOES ANYONE CARE NO... SO really if i just cut my self in front the the whole student body and died everyone would just give a round of applause. CAUSE THE FAT KID DIED. im sorry bout this, im just sick of what i haft to live through.. i gave up dtrying to not cut.. i just cant anymore.. i just cant.. i give up on this life...

(((((((((((blackdragon))))))))))

I know what it is like to be the "big kid". It can be so awful. Can you transfer to another school? Other than that, the only advice I can offer is that it's over in 4 years. I've been where you are...please feel you can PM me if you need to. I know where you are...it's a dark place.

Blackdragon:

You poor dear. I have no wise words for you but it seems you have a mighty heavy load to bear with everything going on with you now. I can tell by the language and the post in general that you have alot to get off your chest. Feel free to pm me if you need someone to talk to. Good luck.

Take care,
Kimberly.

(((((((((((blackdragon)))))))))))

It really sucks that kids have been so stupid and cruel. Imagine how dumb they must be to resort to the bread dough thing? Is that their great show of their intellect and superiority? Um.....can you say "LOSER"?! It's a childish prank, played by stupid children. You are WAY better than that. I can tell by your writing that you are more mature, and have been though a lot. Rough times in life make a person grow up damn fast. When I was in middle school, I felt like I was middle aged!

You are right about it being over soon since you are a senior. Life is sooo different after high school. The popular girls aren't so popular when they are just another girl on the planet. They become as important, or unimportant as the rest of us.

Hang on for a few more months, and you'll have a chance to start over. Either in college, or at a job, you can meet new people, and be respected for the work you do - not for your pants size.

BIG hugs, Aunt Emmy

((((((((((((((((((((((((Black dragon)))))))))))))))))))))))))

the kids in your school sound like losers. They're mean. Just hang in there like Emmy said, soon you'll be better than all of them, you'll be stronger and once they're all out in the big world they'll be nothings because they wasted time in school being immature losers.

I'm sorry for how bad a time you're having. Feel free to pm me anytime.

Take care
Claire

((((((((((((((((((dragon))))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry to hear what you are going through, I have experienced some of your same pain. Kids can be so mean and I have found some adults that act that same way. Try to hang in there. We are here for you and we care.

Leslie

{{{{{{{{Blackdragon}}}}}}}}}}}

I had a whole message written to you, and the computer is not cooperating, and now I've lost it. I'm really bummed. I'm not going to be able to write it again the way I had it either.

It just really stinks that people do such rotten and stupid and childish things to you. It reflects on them though, not on you. A lot of us here have been affected by bullying and know how much it hurts, and how sad it is that all too many people accept it and don't do anything to stop it. It isn't right.

It isn't your fault that people treat you badly, however, what you do can keep it from continuing. I found some links for you where you can find some help. Some have things that you can do to help yourself, and others you might want to share with your parents and/or school authorities.

http://www.bullying.org/public/frameset.cfm

http://www.bullyingawarenessnetwork....?page=home.php

http://www.stopbullyingnow.com/

http://www.bullying.co.uk/

http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/index.asp

Anyway, here are a few. I had more, but now I can't keep track of which ones I have on here already. Take care of yourself. People who have been hurt deserve to stop getting hurt. Why give them the satisfaction of hurting more because of their actions?
Rap

It is your legal right to be safe and protected from Bullying in school. Speak up! How much do you need to graduate? Can you get accomodations to do work in a more protected area? Also, nail the bullies, they are going to grow up and batter and torture their kids. Rap said it very well. Hey, I'll even file a complaint with your school for you. This is an issue that hits real close to home with me because of things that happened with my son. You deserve respect and safety!

thanks, it means alot.... im trying to transfer to a nother school thats about 15 min away. If i cant i will just skip all classes but english... (english is the only credit i need to graduate). man its cold up in the frozen north.. Well i better go.... got psychology homework to do..