Confessions of a self-proclaimed slut

mor·al
/ˈmôrəl/
Adjective
Concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character.

I do not see how sleeping with strangers versus people we know well is right or wrong. Likewise, I do not see how many people versus few people is right or wrong. It is a matter of an individual preference.

OP actually has had sex with non-strangers - what about the husband and the father's friend whom she presumably had known for years before lost her virginity to him. So she has done both strangers and non-strangers, and any which way she does it should not present any issues or concerns.

To post a long message on a board and not come back to monitor the responses and react to them is, in my book, wrong. Sleeping with strangers is OK, but engaging people who waste their time reading your long stories and then failing to come back to converse with them, is NOT OK.

I'm just curious, not trying to be rude but what motivates you to correct people's writing on this forum so much? I ask because I know for me at least, it's a bit off putting. Now I'm not saying that you're trying to be rude but just so you know if someone did that to my post and then replied to me, I'd be hesitant to even bother reading the rest of their response. That's just me. Again, I don't know if your intentions are to help or not there, only you know that. I'm just trying to help. People tend to listen to accepting people more and when you do that it tends to make them think you're not. I'm just saying.. Sorry if this offends you.

I think that the reason the OP hasn't responded again is because of the climate of the responses she's gotten has been rather cold and pointed. Not that she should have expected much else but I think she was expecting something different. With everyone pointing out all kinds of negatives in her post (granted I contributed too) why would she have much to say again? I don't think it was intentional that she never planned to respond again.

i do agree though if that was her intention that it's wrong.

The poster before me expressed an opinion that OP's having had sex with strangers on multiple occasions is somehow immoral. I pointed out that whom you have sex with is a matter of personal preference (I should have added "provided it is consensual and with parties who have reached majority", but I hope that I will be forgiven for this obvious omission). In support of that, I added the definition of the adjective "moral" that I took from a reputable online dictionary. I added the definition to bolster my viewpoint. I often look up the definitions of various words that I use before I post anyway.

As for the OP, I certainly do not accuse her (if the post was written by a woman) of anything immoral, but it certainly is not nice to stay away from the discussion even if the responses are rather cold. While it is not immoral, it is not nice - we are wasting our time here.

No, I initially paid the OP a compliment when I suggested that she try writing erotic stories. That was before I read the whole thing and realized that it had flaws, and I pointed out those flaws, so if the goal of the poster was to get feedback on the content and the writing style, I gave that.

Other people also gave their opinions on how triggering (I do not know what it means, so I am just repeating the term verbatim) or arousing the story was. Somebody was hot and bothered. I would consider it positive feedback if, again, the goal was to get a reaction out of people. I cannot see other possible goals, but it does not mean there are none - it is just that I cannot see them.

If it's a matter of individual preference, why bother saying if my thoughts were right or wrong? I said it's immoral, it's okay. if i said it's good morals, it's also okay. A lot of things are subjective so your post is redundant sorry I had to let you know that! (in good terms) Besides, this isn't about all this anyway.

the sex with strange men is secondary to her sex addiction. You say this is not concerning? HUH?

This persons' in therapy. she is trying to find help in a way but has trouble doing it ..properly.. anyone who reads this could tell she has issues. I do believe her judgment was obscured.

let's not turn this thread into what morals I have so I ask nobody to quote me, so you can PM me next time

Per self-report, OP is way too high functioning for the addiction label.

-- She reports being employed full-time in an office setting. That is one FT job.

-- All that feminine clothing shopping (including vintage clothing shopping which takes much less than than shopping for mass-produced clothing, I imagine), all that shoe shopping for high heels, which certainly must include time spent selecting, trying, walking, consulting with others perhaps, deciding, returning, etc. etc., all that attention given to makeup, hair, and nails, and all the rest of that is another full-time job.

-- Marriage given the amount of sexual activity is a third full-time job.

On top of all that she found time to write a long story, which was edited for spelling and grammar, as far as I remember. I do not recall seeing any lapses in it.

To sum up, only few chosen people can boast that level of skill with time management.

No offense, but you need to relax a little. You do not need to correct everything! And why are you so defensive about this whole sexual addict and morality thing? DO you have a guilty conscious or something.? Now if you have a different understanding of sexual addiction and/or morality than some other people do, then that is okay; but is it really such a big deal that you have to get so obsessive over it? It's not your job to decide whether someone else a sex addict or not. And you are being way too obsessive. I suggest you talk with your therapist about this!

I have never had addictions of any kind, and it bothers me a lot that the label addiction is now added to sex, caffeine, and even food. I did post a similar response yesterday on a thread that mentioned somebody trying to make caffeine addiction a mental illness. I. Object when people talk about addictive foods.

This is an intellectual issue for me. I personally have had a modest number of sexual partners in very conventional settings - certainly no group sex or spanking or other things mentioned by OP. I also consume 2~3 cups of coffee a day and no more and drink wine in moderation etc. But I see nothing wrong in OP's behavior except that she in very naive thinking that every guy in her office comes to work solely to admire her. But being naive is funny and forgivable and certainly not wrong or immoral.

Plus, this kind of naivete may go away simply with the passage of time, without any interventions.

If you really feel that way, then I suggest you take a breather. You have every right to feel the way you do about addictions, and I can certainly see your point. I am not going to tell you whether you are wrong or right--but sometimes you just need to let it go. Is it really so important that everybody sees things the way you do? Is it really so important that everybody uses your image of good grammar or meets up with your expectations of intelligence? I don't mean that you're necessarily wrong, but you are just making way too much of things. It's a lot more irritating than the "overuse" of the word addiction, or someone making a grammatical error. If someone wants to call themselves an addict, that's their right. But it's their problem, not yours. She might not be an addict. But it's not your job to decide if she is or not.

Now I suggest you take a hot bath and drink some camomile tea before you give yoursefl a headache.

This is the reason. I understand some of the reactions to my post were likely going to pick up some pointed responses, which I expected. However, I instead felt they were not simply honest, or pointed, but were flat out hostile. That isn't exactly constructive or worthy of even bothering to respond.

In one of the responses, I was hit with

Well how exactly am I going to respond to that? It was my mistake, but why should I bother with a response when a comment like that couldn't possibly have deviated any more from the topic at hand, and instead the author decided to devolve the conversation into the quality of responses found in YouTube comments. I would also like to point out, that GPA or not, grammatical mistakes are common, especially among people who are quickly pouring their mind out into text and trying to get things off of their chest. Sometimes typos and errors slip through the cracks. It was my mistake and I deeply apologize for my grammatical infraction and I hope that I can be forgiven in time. As it is clear to me now that the common etiquette on message boards is that ever single one of the posters very thoroughly spell checks and proof reads their posts, I can see why it the author was so justified in isolating mistake and making that that real topic of this thread.

At any rate, I realize that the above paragraph may have been a snarky response, but I'm simply trying to illustrate why I had no reason whatsoever to respond to this thread after posting it. Hostility only creates further hostility and that's the path that I would have gone if I had responded.

I only respond now because i see the last few posts of people jumping in and arguing about this very thing. I'm not concerned with the content of my OP anymore. In fact, I found another place to post where the response was, admittedly quite direct, but infinitely more constructive than the response I found here. I realize my original post was long. I suppose it is just cathartic to pour my mind out somewhere and get it all out in the open. I suppose I did open myself up for criticism, but I certainly didn't feel that it warranted flat out hostility.

I have put in a request to have my account deactivated, so this really won't be an issue much longer anyway, but I didn't want to leave without at least following up. The only reason I even bothered following up is because this is a place that, I thought, would be a good place for support. I'm not saying people agreeing with me or validating any of the behaviors I mentioned. Not at all. But at the very least, encouragement and support and, most of all thoughtful and constructive responses. I admit I was shocked by the venom I could see behind the responses I got.

I came here expecting constructive and helpful feedback. I believe most new faces you see here are expecting similar. I really hope that everyone that posted hostile\ irrelevant posts (yes, I consider grammar correction responses to be absolutely irrelevant) thinks a bit about this and how they treat people on a board that is labeled as a place for people to get help and open their feelings. Imagine if your therapist responded to you the way some of you responded to me. I acknowledge my post had some shocking details in it. That's part of the confession. Would you respond similar to rape survivors? Perhaps you would suggest that she deserved it by dressing too provocatively or was "asking for it"? Or would you act so hostile if I indicated in any way that I was perhaps suicidal? I certainly hope you wouldn't. That would not the the adult thing to do. But perhaps it is worth considering because some people's lives may actually be torn apart, even from simple "internet comments"

I am perfectly capable of walking away from this thread and counting it as a failed attempt at opening up. Oh well. It's a shame. But I will move on and focus my attention somewhere where I get discussions that are much healthier for me and can, quite frankly, stay on topic. But not everyone can walk away like I can. Understand that your attitude may hurt someone, or even lead them to hurt themselves in a way that can't be taken back.

To put it bluntly, I hope my response makes you feel just a little guilty. And I mean that in a constructive way, because you never know who you may truly hurt in the end when you respond with such hostility and contempt to a person who is exposing their feelings and leaving themselves vulnerable.

Thank you. I can't say it was great, but I can certainly say it was educational. It just wasn't educational in the way I had expected.

Everyone take care.

YOU bragged about the GPA. If you are going to brag about the GPA, you need to edit for grammar. If you just want to pour your heart or mind or however you call it into the text, then refrain from bragging. Either or.

YOU inserted the mention of your GPA into OP. Hence, it became one of the sub-topics, and you need to deal with it now.

"As it is clear to me now that the common etiquette on message boards is that ever single one of the posters very thoroughly spell checks and proof reads their posts, "

No, that is not the common etiquette, but it is also not common to brag about the GPA.

Do you understand the meaning of the expression "noblesse oblige"?

You need to read the discussion to see that most people responded not to the shock quality of your details (which is a matter of opinion anyway), but to the presentation. While your follow-up is lengthy, it does not respond to the discussion. You DID receive a lot of constructive and helpful feedback.

"I realize my original post was long". Oh, that is so very true, so very true. And the follow-up is as well. So no learning seems to be happening from post to post.

To sum up, you can definitely write, and write a lot, but you still need to learn to read what other people have said. That is also a skill that you can pick up. And I can tell that no matter what kind of sex you practice and enjoy, reading comprehension will always be a very helpful skill.

I think that she mentioned her GPA simply to illustrate the kind of person and student she was, not to brag about it. She probably felt that this would help the readers of her post to understand her past more correctly.

I got a few good laughs out of this thread, which I read because I used to be able to identify with the "slut" label. I no longer do. And...I definitely don't relate to most of the things written by the original poster. (But hey: go girl. Some of that **** sounds straight up painful.)

This is my silly reason for replying: When I graduated high school, my GPA was above 4.0. When I graduated college, my GPA was just below 4.0. (I was in the throes of alcohol abuse during that time and continued for 3 years after graduating college.) I even graduated with an English degree and to this day I still make ridiculous grammatical and spelling errors.

I am about to press "reply" and I see that I'm going to bump a thread that hasn't had a response in over a month. Ah well.

You managed to post this without errors...

As a first post here for higher conscious learning i will validate what you are saying by letting you know i got a couple good laughs.

That is great validation - the best one can get .

Welcome to PC!

I don't see a sex addict but just someone who perhaps has high testosterone for a female.

Either that or some weirdo posing as a woman to get some sexual kicks. It wouldn't surprise me.

Wow what a post !
I am not sure if the OP is serious or just making fun of this forum.
But if it's serious, there is something I don't understand: the lack of feelings. She (?) says she did all that without any feelings...sounds more like what a man would say, rather than a woman.
Anyway, I don't understand how that can be, as for me sex and feelings can't go separate.