Hypersexual

I'm having a lot of sex with strangers I meet online. I am now spending all of my free time talking to or having sex with men. It's gotten worse consistently over the last couple months. I've even slept with two men in the same day twice. I suffered a bruised cervix during my last encounter and almost had sex later that day. The only thing that stopped me was excruciating pain. It's been three days and I'm still in horrible pain.....yet I can't take another day without sex. I'm supposed to see my weekender later today. I don't know if I can stop myself. I have an appointment with a gynecologist tomarrow. WHAT the hell have I become....... and how the hell do I become myself again.

I've recently left a 20 year abusive marriage. I'm hoping this is the cause and that there is hope for me.😭

I'm sorry you are struggling with this. Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help. The first article provides links to a number of additional articles on the subject:

Symptoms of Sexual Addiction

How are Female Sex Addicts Different from Males?

I'm bipolar, and this happens with a number of people of both genders when they are manic. I am not saying your bipolar, it is just I know a few people in person who have been this way.

Since this sounds like something you want to stop, perhaps exploring this with a therapist would benefit you. Discovering the root of the issue and maybe even how to stop it, is something they could help you with.

That being said, what makes you think the 20 year abusive relationship is the cause to your hypersexuality? If you want to share of course, answering the question might involve disclosing personal details. So i'd understand not wanting to.

I want sex all the time too. I love it I love everything about it. I want it all day everyday. When I can't have it with someone I just well just me if that makes sense.

I am a female sex addict. I was never having sex every day, due to having family curve my time. It has been tough in early recovery. But I went to a 12 step meeting and found people that were laughing at and smiling. And still able to survive. And eventually have sex again.
I have not seen that but I have been celibate for 1 year and almost a month. It does get a little easier but the desire may still be there.

I'm just guessing. I was pretty unhappy sexually. I also didn't receive much affectionate or attention. So I thought maybe I was trying to get that love I missed out on?

Today makes 7 days without sex!! I have still been sexting pretty much non-stop, and making dates, but not showing for them. One day I was in my car and actually turned around and went home. I go to the clinic this afternoon to get checked out for STDs. I have deleted certain people which was super smart, but has given me extreme anxiety. I feel relatively stable. Trying to gear up for the weekend, I will need to be strong. I already have several dates made ☹️

Thank you so much for the articles. I read them and even followed links from them to other articles. There seem to be many possible reasons for my behavior. I'm taking it one day at a time like any other addiction and making progress. Thanks again for your advice and educational articles!

Another thing I have learned, is taking care of my own physical, and emotional health, ie self care. Self care really does make a difference. Not only to help protect yourself, but to help address the underlying reasons for your behavior. Like you said take it one day at a time and learn to relax instead of being anxious. Anxiety is expected as you detox from the behavior. It does get a little easier.

I made it 17 days...... I've been with 3 guys in week 😭

You had a lapse. Don't make it into a full relapse! Tell yourself that you can be in recovery! Soberity takes time. I had many lapses but this time feels different.

perhaps it is not the action of sex, but the thoughts associated to the action that needs more examination. here are my thoughts on this topic. studies have indicated psychedelic drugs have a property about them that aids in smoking cessation. nicitine addiction is similar to being in a state of seeking sexual arousal as i imagine you know. both activities, smoking and having sex, can be enjoyable if done in moderation, but have very real health risks attached. sometimes when your mind is opened up, like on a psychedelic or meditative state you can change your outlook.

you could also try to work out at the gym. just pick healthy sex partners. don't become ill.

It's been 14 days since my last encounter. I'm trying to be positive, but I fear the only thing that has stopped me is a long menstrual cycle. I have been staying awake for hours at night sexting and continue to schedule hookups. I cancel when I realize my period hasn't stopped in the morning. The last three people that I slept with were people I've been with before. My plan is to keep 3 fwb and not involve any new partners. I don't know how good of a plan that is, but the anticipation about being ready is overwhelming and it feels good to be prepared.?

At the end you added a question mark. That to me is significant. Does it mean that you are questioning what you are doing?

Have you tried to seek out non-sexual relationships?

For some when we give up sex with many people, we find life. An abundance of better days. That's what I have found and I haven't been with anyone in 13 months.

If you have questions you can pm me or write here. I have no issues with answering questions.

I wish I could hate sex. I've had sex every other day. I really feel like it's an addiction. I'm consumed with it. I want constant attention. I was texting 8 guys at the same time today....

I'm in a phase where all I want is sex too. The thing I find is I'm looking it a lot.

It's back with a vengeance

Hi. This is an issue I deal with periodically. My sense is that I might be bipolar. I got into some big trouble a few years ago with this. I had a really bad depression and then following that I had just an insane sex drive. I skipped out work a bunch of days just to masturbate. I had a same-sex affair with a female friend and then I hooked up with a bunch of guys from Tinder, sometimes without condoms. I went on a six month sexual rampage. My husband kicked me out during this time frame and we nearly got divorced. I was lucky I was able to work it out with him when I came to my senses again. I wrecked a friendship and created a lot of awkwardness with some common friends. It took a long time for my husband to trust me again, but I think we are now at a point where he does. I can't ever cheat on him again though. He won't put it with it ever again. I've been taking an antidepressant that seems to help with depression for the most part, but occasionally I feel that mega high sex drive and it really concerns me. My biggest fear is that I'll get totally out of control like that again and completely wreck my life. I've been working on being more social. I feel like staying connected to other people keeps me in reality. I notice if I'm socially isolated I lose objectivity and that eventually leads to me doing dumb, impulsive stuff like I did before. I'm not so comfortable talking about my hypersexuality issues with my friends though. I'm afraid I'll make them feel uncomfortable or I'll do something inappropriate.

I can relate to isolating making it worse. I actually leave my phone in the car when I go in the house to keep off for awhile. Until I'm about to burst and go get it

I think I'm having a panic attack. I feel like I have electricity in my veins, my heart is in my throat and I can hear it pounding in my ears.
I'm trying to breathe deep but it's hard. Mindfulness is NOT working
I'm having a hard time staying here and getting back from the lunacy of constant sexting and planning dates.
I truly feel like I'm losing my mind

I just can't stop 😭 I think I need to find a support group of some kind. I don't have anyone to talk to about being this way. I'm too ashamed. I see my pdoc the end of the month, the few that I've shared this with including him seem to just look at me like.....are you serious, yes I am . WTH, what do I do. It's becoming impossible to be mindful 😭

This is ridiculous. I can't stop thinking about sex, trying to have sex, or actually having sex. From the time my eyes open until they close.

Do you have a therapist? they can help you.
I have an ocd type behavior. skin picking. I take the amino acid NAC 1200mg twice a day.
helps with the urges.
good luck
bizi

How have things been for you lately? You probably should see a doctor if you are feeling really out of control. I know that is a terrible feeling.

I've been thinking about when I have felt hypersexual in the past to figure out how to be in control of it. I think for myself that the hypersexuality results from depression. I get to the point where I don't care about anything other than feeling better and sex seems to be my go to quick fix for feeling better. It seems a lot like how some people use drugs or alcohol to cope with depression. I've been pretty good lately because I have been taking an antidepressant. I also think my depressions start off as out of control anxiety. The antidepressant has also reduced my anxiety level, but I still feel like I need to do more to relax myself. I have this book called The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook. It looks like it's pretty good. I intend on reading through that some and trying some of those exercises. I've found just focusing on breathing when I'm feeling anxious helps. I'm also working on my internal monologue about myself. I have a tendency to be very self critical, so I'm trying to correct that thinking by telling myself I am not weird or bad, that I'm a pretty normal and decent person. Trying to stop the constant self judgment.