Hypersexual

depression can settle and clear up with monologue please discuss it as soon as possible.

I've thought I was doing good because I only had sex with one person a few times last week. Every time I think I'm climbing the hill I run into a mudslide. I have 2 dates a day scheduled all weekend. I know I won't cancel lunch, he's a long term Fwb....with lot's of benefits. I just hope I have the strength to cancel the rest. This is an extremely difficult anniversary of bad things. I just want to get drunk and feel a man's body. Sweet Jesus help me.

Are you on an antidepressant? Some are famous, especially SSRIs, for tamping down the sex drive. Might be worth a try.

If you are already on one, maybe talk to your pdoc about switching to one more well known for knocking your sex drive out.

On the flip side, are you on any drugs that will increase your sex drive? Buspar and tegretol both did this for me. However, I simply masturbated more.

Anniversary dates can be hard to face. You are not alone......
bizi

Thank you for your responses and advice. I am currently taking 20mg of Paxil and 200 mg of Lamictal. I have 50 mg Trazodone as needed. I don't take it often because it gives me vivid nightmares. I'm very sensitive to many psych meds,,,many. I see my pdoc this month. He's pretty routine but I do plan on telling him about it.

how is your sleep?
bizi

Off and on. I get less than I need during the work week and probably too much on the weekends. I have been plagued with nightmares recently that make it hard to get back to sleep after waking up

my hubby takes a benadryl to sleep at night.
It works for him......
bizi

I'm going to give that a shot. I'm pretty sure the Trazodone gives me the bad dreams. Even the next couple nights after taking it one night.

Trazadone was not my friend.
I swear to god it made me manic and I could not breath taking it...had to open my mouth to breath.
who can sleep like that ?
I could not so it was useless to me.
bizi

Hello, I am very new to this. And I'm looking for any help I can find (no negative or judgemental comments please) I was sexually abused as a child and pretty much left to my own devices growing up as a child. I'm 32 with 2 small children now.. And I am often compelled to have sex all the time. It's gotten to the point where it consumes my thoughts most of the time and causes confusion in everyday. Of course my sex life has depleted dramatically since the birth of my first (DD Sam.) and since the birth of my son Jasper. It's pretty much dead. Lol. I refuse to bring a bunch of different men around my children. But I am constantly masterbating all through the day. I can't seem to stop me. If I don't I am just a wreck within myself. I am feeling worthless and invaluable. I feel abnormal. I am starting a business with someone who knows that I have an "issue" and even though he doesn't know what it is exactly (too embarassed to even consider admiting this) But ecause of my inconsistancey with always having to excuse myself is beginning to take a toll on things. I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life and do believe I can be healed from this affliction. Any advice from anyone?

Hang I there, I understand the constant need for sex. It is all that I can do not to run out and sleep with every person I meet online. I already have a problem with online cam sex with strangers.

I feel 100% those same things 🔺
I feel so uncomfortable and judged for my behavior. It's embarrassing to actually ask for advice on how to get control.

I'm 45 with an 17 year old.
I have brought men into my house ☹️ it started I would only do it when he wasn't home. I've done it a few times while he was here.
I masturbate constantly to the videos I get from the guys I sext with, even at work. I record it and send that back.
I want to have sex ALL the time.
I don't understand why I can't.just.stop

I've been having lots of sex, like I'm stocking up on toilet paper or something. I've had sex the last 3 days with 3 different men. I've never been this bad before. 🤔I don't think. I've actually been staying offline a bit. When I do get on though.....look out!
My brain hurts, my heart is heavy, and my vagina is constantly ........ it's like I can't reach bottom, is there one? Just how low can I go 😢

Hey, we're here with you. I'm not in quite the same boat as you, but we're in the same ocean, so we're trying to ride similar waves (if that makes sense). So, these past three weeks for me have been some of the most successful I've had in... well, since I can remember, and I'd like to share a few of the things I found have really helped me, hopefully they can help you.

Identifying triggers: I've slowly been making a mental catalogue (and will be writing them out as I find that helps me keep track of things) of things that "trigger" the urge or craving in me. I'm not doing it so I can avoid them ( though I often try) because it's nigh impossible to live life and also avoid the things that trigger me. No, I do it so that I can recognize early on when I'm about to or am experiencing the urge. That way, it's no longer just subconscious, if I decide to indulge it's not an unconscious "autopilot" decision, I have to consciously recognize the bad decision I'm about to make. This helps me recognize that I have control, and I CAN decide to do the right thing.

Compassionate Self-Awareness: I think this is what it's called, though the exercise or act might have a more correct term, but regardless, this is for when I'm experiencing the urge (this is also why it's so beneficial to be able to recognize your triggers). When I'm experiencing the urge, I don't try to smash myself into obedience and submission (like I used to), I don't start criticizing myself and badmouthing my weakness, and hating myself for feeling this way (like I used to, and still struggle with this). This can be hard to do, but you need to let go of these things. You already have the shame and guilt, but focusing on these during a crisis moment paralyzes you into just falling back into auto-pilot... and you fail. They are counter-productive and unhelpful, like that asshole ****-talking you while you're trying to change a flat tire instead of lending a hand.


Instead, try to recognize and accept that: yes, you're experiencing the urge, and it ****ing sucks. Acknowledge this, don't immediately try to smash and suppress it down. You want to have sex, the craving is intense and soul compelling, and every moment you don't acquiesce feels like hell... but the moment will pass. It will feel like years in the passing, especially during your early attempts, but grit your teeth, bear it, and remember... it WILL pass.

I've had countless moments like this so far, but practicing this exercise has saved me so far. I HIGHLY recommend it.

Finally, remember that your progress is NOT linear, and can't be measured as such. You're going to have some good days, maybe even great days, but you're also going to have absolutely HORRIBLE days where your cravings will be smashing at you... this is normal, and it's going to be all over the place, often without rhyme or reason. I'm sorry, but this is the harsh reality. While I've had the best success I've had in years these past three weeks, I've had very close moments where I wanted nothing more than to give in and watch porn, and I have had a couple failures in my efforts to stop masturbating. I accept this, however, and I'm pretty certain I will have a relapse on the porn front again. I'll stop practicing what I've learned, or have a vulnerable moment, and BAM! It will get me... but I'm going to take my successes while I can, and pick myself up and dust myself off after I fall. So remember to forgive yourself. Beating yourself up all the time will not help you, it will only hinder you. Forgive yourself, and commit yourself to continue to try to do better. Remember why you want to do better, aim for that vision of a better future, and you can endure just about any what or how that life throws at you.

You're not alone, and we're rooting for you! Win or loss, we're in your corner.

OMG, thank you. Your advice is awesome and your compassion, rare for me and I'm incredibly grateful for it. I've lost most dates to social distancing, which is great?
I am feeling very stressed and desperate. I'm trying to keep myself busy and keep my anxiety in check. One minute at a time. Thank you again 🤗

OMG, thank you. Your advice is awesome and your compassion, rare for me and I'm incredibly grateful for it. I've lost most dates to social distancing, which is great?
I am feeling very stressed and desperate. I'm trying to keep myself busy and keep my anxiety in check. One minute at a time. Thank you again 🤗

Happy to be of service! Something I'm going to be trying out over these long isolated weeks is meditation, seems as good a time as any and I've seen a lot of people saying it really helps with these kinds of issues. Will chime back in after a while of trying this with my results, though I suspect they will be positive. Never heard bad about meditation, now that I think about it.

OMG, thank you. Your advice is awesome and your compassion, rare for me and I'm incredibly grateful for it. I've lost most dates to social distancing, which is great?
I am feeling very stressed and desperate. I'm trying to keep myself busy and keep my anxiety in check. One minute at a time. Thank you again 🤗

I've continued my pattern for the most part. Two steps forward, three steps back. I went 10 days without sex! Saturday night..... what a beast. I'm consumed. It's like a horrible thirst, I'm dying to quench. It feels like life or death. I've called 5 men since Sunday morning. The only thing that has helped me to cancel is the fact that I am extremely sore from Saturday. I seriously feel like I'm dying. This addiction is no joke

Hang in there and take it one day at a time, don't stew too much over the past.

I don't think that I'm hypersexual, or a sex addict.
I think I'm amoral and depraved.
The harder I look for myself, the less I can find me.

I will say, I never imagined women struggle with this as much as men, and I feel poorer for not having known this many years ago so that I could have done things differently. I often wonder if it's possible to find someone who is an anode to me, so that I no longer care about porn and finding others...? Or is it that I am, like F&L says, "amoral and depraved?" Am I shallow simply because I look for specific physical and personality traits, and that venal, avaricious side of me doesn't want to settle? The women that have them I find are either a) strangers to me (and I'm not good at just randomly striking up convos), b) know who I am and want nothing to do with me, or c) are taken. That is a struggle I am all too familiar with. I actually had someone ask me if I was an Incel because I haven't slept with anyone in years. lmao No, not really...I am just isolated because I know no one in my own town anymore, and I have no friends irl other than my little doggo, and I have become risk-averse after my last ex. She was pretty much it for me, end of the line.

"The harder I look for myself, the less I can find me." <---- Oof. Right in the feels. Just about summed up all of my poetry (which I use as a cathartic) in one line. lmao

It really is an addition. I've lost jobs, so it continues to be my job. Either way, I want it daily, sometimes twice a day. I think about it all the time, I hide my phone to take breaks from sexting men. Sometimes I'm juggling 3 or 4 conversations at a time. I want constant attention. I've been so depressed. I've been staying in bed, except to go on dates. I forced myself to go in a hike. It helped. I'm trying to ignore the messages. Ugh, it feels good to unload here.

Have you considered therapy? Sending hugs.