Exploring transexuality

I am a biological female that has always dressed very masculine. Recently, I started on male hormones. I take a very low dose, but it is giving me lots of hair on my thighs and abdomen. I had to shave my chin before I started the hormones, but now I have to shave my upper lip too. I don't think I want to be a "man," but I don't like being a "woman." I think I want to be something in-between. Does anyone think this is crazy? I wonder if anyone would love someone that is in-between the binary genders?

i don't think its crazy but i also don't know the answer for you. I think its important to explore these things. Maybe a counsellor or the dr who prescribed hormones can help you more.

If you don't want to be a full blown man then I think you should consult your doctor and get off the hormone treatments. You might just be interested in dressing and acting masculine but still maintaining your female gender. I don't think there's anything wrong with either of those choices as long as you're happy. As my mother would say "there's a cover for every pot" so yes I'm sure there's a partner who would enjoy you the way you are. I agree with Crystal that you may want to discuss those options to figure out what's best for you. Good luck.

I like what Lynn P. said and especially love her mother's saying!

I'm not quite clear why you have been prescribed male hormones. I believe there are some medical reasons for the use of male hormones besides gender orientation, but since I'm not a medical professional, I'm only speculating.

However, if there's a medical/health condition involved, then you and your prescribing physician need to have a discussion.

If the male hormones are meant to decrease your femininity and increase masculine traits, then you and your prescribing physician need to have a discussion. Tweaking the dosage of male hormone to suit your comfort level should be simple enough. But you have to communicate with your physician.

I don't think you are crazy! Without a doubt, I know you're not. Personally, I don't want to be a man, but I often wish for the "privileges" that our society affords manhood. In fact, I conceptualize myself more on the androgynous part of the scale. If I became more physiologically masculine, I don't think I would be happy because of the resulting societal impositions. But, that's just me.

I want to promise you that you are not alone! As a matter of fact, I've exchanged PM's with other PC members, exploring this very same topic. Trust me, this is an issue throughout the male and female population. It crosses many boundaries and doesn't always have anything to do with the gender you are sexually attracted to.

If you're lucky enough to be within traveling distance of a metropolitan area, you will find support groups. Those who have been there, can help you best. Understanding on the same level is the ideal way to approach this.

Please, beware of those who claim they want to "help" you, when in reality their agenda has nothing to do with you or your well being. Deciphering wolves in sheep clothing is never for the faint of heart!

I hope all goes well for you. Please continue to post, we want to hear from you and be here to support you. Ok?

Hi borderkallie

Like others here I am concerned about the hormone thing...so I hope you will talk to your prescribing physician about that. As for the gender thing, I am also a female who wears only men's clothing. Partly it is about physical comfort, partly about feeling safer in the world and in my own skin when I do so. I had a therapist once who asked me to think about what gender various aspects of myself might be. I came up with the fact that my intellect 'feels' male. My heart 'feels' female. My essence is genderless. My way of interacting with others is a mix of both, depending on circumstances, but I am usually more comfortable being one of the guys than one of the gals. I get very angry, in a way that I don't otherwise do, when faced with the prospect of having to do 'girly' things like spa evenings. So I have some issues to look at still, but I am actually quite happy not to be stuck at either end of the gender spectrum, since I have a versatility that makes me quite useful to others (and pretty self-sufficient). I can change your tire or fix your kitchen sink one day and cook you a lovely meal the next. I work days as a housepainter and nights as overnight staff in a women's boarding house. I think the fact is that most of what our society says is gendered is only that way because of long years of tradition and habit. We are who we are...and although I have been single for a while, it is not because nobody likes or wants me, but that I am not looking right now. I have been loved as I am at least once...and it may well happen again sometime!

Nothing crazy about you!!

not crazy at all!
society's lines between gender and sex and sexuality and whats what are all skewed and most people cannot even make the distinction between gender and biological sex. absolutely be what feels comfortable.
and yes, there is someone who will love you. i've seen beautiful relationships with exactly the kind of in-between genders you are talking about.

I don't think it's crazy. I think it's androgynous. The fabulous 60's of the Rolling Stones era started us on androgyny in rock music. It's been around for many years, such as is Walt Whitmans famous Leaves of Grass, Song of Myself of the 1850's which will always stand the test of time. Androgyny is where opposites are reconciled. You can be neither or both. billieJ

Yes, someone could love someone between the binary genders. 2 androgenous people, or a tomboy and a pretty boy. Willie [ex] and I were like that. I was technically the female, but we dressed alike, looked something alike, and his features were more feminine. When we went dancing in more conventional settings, drunken cowboys who approached us tended to ask HIM to dance. People asked if we were twins or siblings or husband and wife, and if so, was there a female, and which one was it? We thought it all hilarious and delightful. Perhaps people are too concerned with roles. billieJ

Androgyny is a wonderful and sublime thing. I could probably not really fall in love (or in lust) with someone who was not androgynous in some way.

Be yourself, and have fun doing it!

yes there is something called being Genderqueer that some people use to identify themselves because they want a more fluid gender. You can look into this some more ^^ But I definitely think you should get off the hormones if you don't want to be a man.

I do believe there are many transsexuals out there that are married.... some one must love them.

Rhapsody, could you clarify what you mean by
"...some one must love them. " ?

I meant if they are married then some one already loves them..... their spouse.

i am female to male transsexual and am married i havent started any thing like hormones yet as i have still to come out to my dr about all this
and am unsure what to say to my dr about this

at the moment am wearing clothes that are mainly unisex and i look more female than male but i am trying to get there slowly

Angel