[Jess Petty]

honestly, i hate giving head. i hate giving head more than i love receiving it. in every relationship i try, but i run into the same problem. it makes me sick. while im doing it im fine, and it doesn't bother me. but I'll be doing something a few hours later, and the smell that was perfectly fine when i was going down will wash over me and make me completely nauseous. then the taste will start getting stuck in my mouth, the same taste that didn't bother me before starts making me want to vomit. no matter how much mouthwash i use or no matter how many times i brush my teeth. it won't leave me alone until i completely put it out of my head.

i know it's psychological. but i just can't make myself like it. i know dudes that love going down on their girlfriends. and i have nothing against it. i just can't like it, it always grosses me out after the fact.

i talked to my girlfriend about it. and she got all defensive like "i take care of myself!!" i told her that i wasn't saying she stank or tasted bad. it's just that every time i remember it the smell and taste come back and i get sick to my stomach. then she was like "if you're trying to tell me you don't want to go down on me anymore then i won't go down on you either." to witch i replied "deal."

now she's really mad at me, but im thinking she just doesn't realize how much i don't like it. i would never ask her to do something she didn't like. this is a really ridiculous reason to be mad.

[lynn P.]

I think this thread will probably get moved to the sexual forum. I have to give you credit for being honest - I'm wondering if it's the fact that you actually get nauseous that makes her feel bad. Have you felt like this with other women? Would it help if she was freshly washed and (not to be graphic), stay in the upper(clitoral) region and not delve in the interior area. If you were to concentrate on the clitoral area then you wouldn't come in contact with bodily fluids as much. I wonder how she feels doing it to you. Honestly, I wonder why anyone would want to put their mouth on an area where urine comes out of. If it bothers you that much, then she shouldn't feel insulted. See if the tips I gave will make it better.

[Jess Petty]

i don't think freshness is the problem. because neither the taste or the smell bother me at all during the act. it's just when i recall upon said act that the smell and taste come back and make me sick to my stomach. no it's not just her, it's been like that with any chick ive ever went down on.

[crystalrose]

I am a bi girl and i can go down and give head to a guy but find it gross to go down on a chick. I love to recieve oral sex. After i give head to a guy i am ok for a while but then gag and almost throw up everything. I then wash my hands a lot. Its worse if he cums, if he doesn't cum its not as bad.
Some thing to think of that my therapist asked me. . .
Do you feel shame in any way towards sex? Also have you any history of csa? These things can complicate things a lot.

If you have a therapist discuss it with the therapist.

[jerrymichele]

I think that you should talk to her about it. Alot of women don't get off from just intercoarse. They need fourplay. If she is the type who needs fourplay then this can lead into trouble.

[lynn P.]

I've been thinking about your post Jess and I think you're right - this is a psychological issue - I'm not saying you have a psychological problem though. You say you're fine when you're in midst and not turned off at the time by taste or smell. Later on when you're thinking about it you feel sick. There are some men/people who have mixed feelings about the vagina. For example men are fine until it's time for their woman to have a baby and all of a sudden they can't bare to watch and become grossed out - some men even have intimacy problems afterwards. Do you have mixed feelings about this area. I don't know if it would help, to learn about the anatomy of the vagina and maybe this would desensitize you.

Like I said in my 1st post- if you want to keep trying to please her, you can stick with just the 'clitoral area' and use yours fingers to touch the inner area - she will climax faster that way, which is good for you, so you can get the hell outa there(joking) LOL

[Rhapsody]

Sounds like some counseling may be in order to help to you uncover where the resonation that is leaving you physical ill is coming from... many people have problems performing certain sexual acts due to their past, but once the issue is found and properly dealt with the problem is no longer and life can progress as needed.

[Jess Petty]

i think i might know why it bothers me. (kind of graphic)

the summer before my 9th grade year was the first time i started with the
"four play" i remember i fingered a girl at the bowling alley and later that night
i went to take a sip of my drink and my hand stunk so bad i actually vomited
onto my hand and into my drink. it took about a year before i would put my face
anywhere near "that area". and when i finally did it was fine until i thought about
it later.

my girlfriend and i have worked things out. i talked about it with one of the
counselors we have here on campus. and he was like "well if you don't feel sick
while doing it, you just feel sick when you think about it later. stop thinking
about it later?"

crude, but it seems to be working. when my girlfriend or anyone else goes
to mention vaginas or oral sex i just cover my ears, close my eyes, and start
yelling.

believe it or not most people think it's kind of funny.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Jess Petty

honestly, i hate giving head. i hate giving head more than i love receiving it. in every relationship i try, but i run into the same problem. it makes me sick. while im doing it im fine, and it doesn't bother me. but I'll be doing something a few hours later, and the smell that was perfectly fine when i was going down will wash over me and make me completely nauseous. then the taste will start getting stuck in my mouth, the same taste that didn't bother me before starts making me want to vomit. no matter how much mouthwash i use or no matter how many times i brush my teeth. it won't leave me alone until i completely put it out of my head.

i know it's psychological. but i just can't make myself like it. i know dudes that love going down on their girlfriends. and i have nothing against it. i just can't like it, it always grosses me out after the fact.

i talked to my girlfriend about it. and she got all defensive like "i take care of myself!!" i told her that i wasn't saying she stank or tasted bad. it's just that every time i remember it the smell and taste come back and i get sick to my stomach. then she was like "if you're trying to tell me you don't want to go down on me anymore then i won't go down on you either." to witch i replied "deal."

now she's really mad at me, but im thinking she just doesn't realize how much i don't like it. i would never ask her to do something she didn't like. this is a really ridiculous reason to be mad.

I dont find it to be a ridiculous reason to be mad. what if she came to you and you and she did something together that is important to you, doesn't have to be sexual. and then after spending what you felt was enjoyable quality time together and she said I like you putting your arm around me while you are doing it but after when I m remembering I realize how much your armpit odors make me want to vomit. hard to take personally isnt it.

a while ago I was remembering some past abuse and I would be fine with my partner but afterwards I would get flooded with past abuse memories. my partner took it personally when said Im fine during the intimate time but afterwards I feel like I want to vomit and I literally run for the bathroom and spend time gagging. it got really bad between me and my partner because my reaction was taken personally. we ended up at the therapists office. what we found out there totally blew my mind because I found out that there were gadgets and gismos that do the job that I could no longer do without getting sick. we bought a few gismos and gadgets,and I was once again able to participate in a way that was comfortable for both my partner and I. We also take time to check in with each other about that age old question "was it good for you?" and we now know that we can be honest with each other with our explorations, wants needs, likes and dislikes and we don't take it personally. learning how to communicate and with the use of gismos and gadgets when one or the other of us cant fully participate has really helped.

there are gismos and gadgets, toys if you will that work for going down male or female. we get some of our toys, gadgets and gismos at an adult movie and products store in town but there are many places on line that also carry things. my partner also goes through adamandeve.com