[ragingrenee1313]

I am a 35 year old married woman with kids. I have always had sick fantasies that my husband (that I've been with for 16 years now) would never try to fulfill...and I guess I wouldn't want him to because I know he wouldn't really enjoy it. Beside the fact, it would only be role play and not real. Well, I have found someone (sickeningly, my husband's friend, also married) that I'm thoroughly afraid of and he loves to beat me as much as I like him to. My husband knows what I like his friend to do as well as his wife, but I know they both aren't happy about it. He is like a drug for me, even though I have barely been able to move for the last 2 weeks because he either bruised/cracked or broke a rib or two. My husband keeps complaining that he hasn't seen me without bruises for months. I don't want to stop. He's what I've been needing for over 12 years.

My question is 1. am I a masochist or is this just a label??? and
2. Is this really so bad?

I have been happier than I have been in a long long time and I guess I just want to know if there is anyone else out there like me.

Thanks for any input.

[objtrbit]

wow, broken ribs? I'm thinking that is a little extreme; if you can't move, then that is affecting how you function on a day to day basis! What is the drive there that makes you want that? I personally like to play rough, but I would never hurt my partner, and would expect the same from them.
Some people lose their jobs over that kinda thing cuz it looks so bad-image doesn't sell! Makes the issue worse, for sure.

I think you should explore your thoughts and try and think about why you enjoy getting hurt, or maybe pain, I'm not sure what it is for you-do you know?. I'm definitly thinking not healthy! Try to figure out the specifics-what about it exactly do you like about it? Im wondering if you are recreating a scenerio from your past, so consider anything that happened to you as a kid too, ya know?

Why would a person not want to take care of themselves? I'm thinking you harm your body in other ways too, maybe even self savatoge? Take a look at your other habits-how do you treat yourself in general? If you come to find out that you don't take care of yourself, I would try to spend awhile in the "why" of it all. Seems to be causing you and another person relational problems-that's self destructive too, assuming the relationship you are in now is healthy. I donno;

Take care of yourself,
-obj

[Bridger]

Masochism, maybe. But no, right now, I don't think a label is what matters.

There is rough play, there is very rough play, but a broken rib is just clumpsy. The level of intensity you seek can be reached without harming the body.

But putting that aside for now, there are some questions I would ask myself if I were you.

Why do I crave it?

What does it give me?

What do I feel like immediately after?

[distressed_girl]

If it makes you happy, it makes you happy.

For your husband's sake I'd say back off a bit. Show your husband that you still love him and will still make love with him. I understand that having sex with is friend is amazing for you, but you two need to set some limits so you don't accidentally isolate either spouse.

[with or without you]

Whatever people want to do with their partners in the privacy of their own bedrooms is OK with me. But it sounds like you may be taking this too far. You said you have kids, and now your husband doesn't like what you are doing. Also, you have a broken rib from this, who knows what else could happen to you next time. A lot of guys don't know their own strength. Maybe you should see a therapist before this gets too out of hand, at least for the sake of your children. Just my .02, take care