[needinghelpnow]

Hi I would like to get some feedback on this especially from women living with a partner who has ED. I have been married 6 years now and have never had sexual intercourse with my husband because of his ED. There is no cure for it other than a penile implant which is way too costly. I love him but am tired of having to always recourse to other means for satisfaction - so I would just rather never be intimate at all. Of course he doesn't agree and gets mad and pouts about it. I feel he has no reason to get mad since it is his problem, and I am being nice enough to stay with him despite of it. Any comments/suggestions???

[eskielover]

It seems like if you really loved him, you could be intimate in other ways than just having sex with him. There are still ways of being together & being satisfied that aren't strictly limited to having intercourse. Seems as though he's craving intimacy with you in those ways or he wouldn't be getting mad because you choose to not be intimate at all.

You chose to be his wife for better or worse.....that means that you find other ways to have the intimacy WITH HIM since this seems to be a problems that he has had for a long time. If you truly loved him, you wouldn't be just "nice enough to stay with him despite of it". You would be WORKING WITH HIM to find ways for both of you to find satisfaction in the intimacy side of your marriage instead of making it into a battle, or worse, into a war which it will become if you aren't willing to work together on this.

[anniepickle]

Needing help,

Thanks for posting. I can relate to your difficulties. My husband has not be officially diagnosed but we have discussed that ED may be a big part of our problems. I am thankful that we have had some ability to have intercourse at the same time when it does occur it is such a limited amout of time that it is very difficult for either of us to get much enjoyment out of the situation. Try to embrace the fact that your husband wants intimacy at all. At this point in time my husband doesn't understand that I would love intimacy with him in what ever form he is able to give it. Currently we are just friends that happen to sleep next to each other and that is not what marriage is about. Hope this is helpful at all.

Annie

[BoldMeister]

Originally Posted by needinghelpnow

Hi I would like to get some feedback on this especially from women living with a partner who has ED. I have been married 6 years now and have never had sexual intercourse with my husband because of his ED. There is no cure for it other than a penile implant which is way too costly. I love him but am tired of having to always recourse to other means for satisfaction - so I would just rather never be intimate at all. Of course he doesn't agree and gets mad and pouts about it. I feel he has no reason to get mad since it is his problem, and I am being nice enough to stay with him despite of it. Any comments/suggestions???

ED really destroys a man's self-esteem. He probably feels really worthless at this point. Worthless and powerless because he is unable to perform what every man wants to - to satisfy their partner. I think you should seriously consider getting a Sybian. I know they are expensive, but it has a number of benefits:
(a) It will meet all of your sexual needs RIGHT AWAY
(b) Have him participate in the operation and kissing and fondling you during use of it and he will again feel part of your life sexually, which is what he really wants (but is unable to)
(c) You may his condition improving from the experience and the possibility of having sex together naturally in not out of reach

Hope this helps. Good luck